


toast in the slytherin dormitory

by ebbyspaghetti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: - mostly one sided??, - not his illness, AHHHH THIS IS VERY ANGSTY AND FLUFFY, Angst, Bottom Harry, Caring Draco Malfoy, Chess, Cute Harry, Depressed Harry, Dom/sub Undertones, Drinking Games, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Jealous Draco Malfoy, Love Triangle, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Oblivious Harry Potter, Panic Attacks, Possessive Draco Malfoy, Protective Draco Malfoy, Recovery, Sick Harry, Slash, Slytherin, Slytherin Common Room, Suicidal Thoughts, Tattoos, Top Draco Malfoy, eighth year, light bashing, trigger warning, we don't like Ron and hermione
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:34:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 23,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebbyspaghetti/pseuds/ebbyspaghetti
Summary: What happens when Draco finds out that Harry is secretly battling a deadly disease, and decides to force his way into Harry's life?Includes a lot of angst, fluff, slytherin dormitories and a whole lot of drarry tension.- trying my best to update regularly- I really, really appreciate any kudos and comments, they motivate me to keep writing
Relationships: - side, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 749
Kudos: 682





	1. train bathroom

I stared out of the train window absently, as I listened to the chatter of students filing excitedly into their compartments. A hollow ache filled my chest, as I remember the euphoria that I used to feel when climbing aboard, a juxtaposition to the lack of anything now. I was brought out of my thoughts by Hermione and Ron barging into the compartment and settling across from me, not seeming to notice my lackluster response and frail frame, instead immediately beginning to interrogate me.

“How were your holidays Harry? I do wish you had stayed at the burrow with us, instead of going off who knows where, by yourself,” Hermione let out harshly, frowning and adjusting her frizzy brown hair as she smoothed down her robes.

“Yeah mate, why’d you do that?” Ron agreed haughtily, putting a freckled arm around Hermione.

For starters, their new relationship was why: I could no longer hang out with them without feeling like a parasite. Another cause, was that I still felt like a child compared to their mature bodies; I hadn’t had a growth spurt since fourth year, and could barely pass off as a thin 15 year old, let alone the eighth year I now was. The main reason however, was the simple fact that I didn’t enjoy anything nowadays. Ever since the war had ended, the biggest reaction I could muster was a grimace, and faking my every response at the Burrow would only have drained me more.

“I need some air.” I quickly got up, and paced out of the compartment, pushing past the excited students, heading towards the end of the carriage. I barged into the bathroom, and collapsed onto the floor, curling into a ball, then began to pinch my nails into my leg, taking in shuddering breaths, which quickly turned into sobs.

It wasn’t fair. I had been robbed of my childhood by my relatives, then spent my entire teenage years, from the age of eleven, fighting a war for people who claimed to care about me, yet now now it was over, I was all alone. My best friends had gotten together, my so called ‘family’ still thought of me as a worthless freak, and I had no girlfriend, as the girl who I had liked, had moved on whilst I was still acting as the brave gryffindor, ‘savior of the wizarding world’. And now, after everything I had done for this world, this _thing_ was happening to me?

I took in deep breaths, slowly calming myself down. It wouldn’t do to appear like this in front of the school, as if I needed even _more_ attention. I sighed, and furiously rubbed at my now red-tinted eyes, groaning as the inevitable post-crying headache came on. I brought my head up, and made to stand.

Shit.

Draco-fucking-Malfoy was standing in the doorway, a mixture of surprise, and something else unidentifiable, in his gaze, as he peered at me, frozen. After a second of tense silence, he turned and left without a word, leaving me speechless. Great. Just great. After all my efforts to appear normal after the war, I had just been watched bawling my eyes out on the floor of the train bathroom, by the biggest known gossiper of the school, Draco Malfoy, who - even more aggravatingly, had apparently grown about a foot over the summer.


	2. dinner

I picked myself off of the floor, and unwillingly dragged my feet back to my compartment, bracing myself for the stares and taunts I knew were going to come my way. However, I only received the typical admiring looks, and swooning witches’ gazes. I sat back down in my carriage, disregarding Hermione and Ron’s probing questions, and instead pondering over the events that had just occurred. Why hadn’t Malfoy told anyone yet? The Malfoy that  _ I _ knew would have almost killed himself in an effort to humiliate ‘The Great Harry Potter’ with the knowledge of such a mortifying event. Maybe he was just holding off, to embarrass me in front of the Great Hall during the feast or something. Yes, that was probably it. I spent the rest of the ride staring out of the train window, ignoring the disapproving looks from Hermione and Ron at my silence.

My theory was disapproved when dinner passed without so much as a taunt my way, and not even a glance from Malfoy. I sighed, and pushed around my dinner, looking apathetically across the table at Ron demolishing a large meat pie, smearing it piggishly around his mouth. 

“Ron, you do know that’s not attractive,” Hermione said teasingly, to which Ron turned slightly red which clashed astonishingly with his orange mop of hair, smiling bashfully at Hermione’s enamoured face. I sighed again, obviously a bit too loud as Hermione’s head shot up and she narrowed her eyes at me. 

“What’s up with you Harry? You’ve been so silent tonight, and you didn’t even write to us during the holidays,” she said accusingly. 

How could I? It’s not like I was  _ able _ to send her letters, I had spent the majority of the holidays on a bed with machines hooked up to me. Not that Hermione knew that, but still, she couldn’t talk, she hadn’t written me anything either. I didn’t voice this though, I knew that this would just start an argument which I couldn’t fight without letting them know about the  _ thing _ .

“Nothing, just a bit tired,” I muttered.

Ron seemed placated by this response, and turned to Hermione, whispering something cheekily in her ear, to which she blushed deeply and intertwined their hands.

Something inside of me shattered. After everything we had been through, I would have thought they would be concerned about me, and know when something was wrong, yet all it had taken were five half-hearted words to pacify them. I stood up.

“I’m going to bed,” I spoke softly, not being noticed by the smitten pair. As I turned to go, I looked up, sensing someone staring at me, and spotted Malfoy’s piercing grey eyes locked intensely onto me, emotions yet again not discernable.

Turning around sharply, I fled the Great Hall, not looking back until I was tucked into my bed, which felt colder than it ever had before, engulfed by the blaring red of the gryffindor dormitory walls.


	3. potion partners

Breakfast consisted mainly of me pushing my food around whilst Hermione and Ron chattered about our first class, which was going to be potions. I hadn’t slept well, but that was normal ever since the _thing_. Speaking of which, I would need to go see the headmaster about that today. I still hadn’t adjusted to the idea of Professor Mcgonagall being headmaster, and after her reaction to my letter about _it_ , the combination of the two had a bit of a strain on our relationship.

I numbly registered Hermione and Ron leaving the table, and slung my bag over my shoulder to follow, leaving behind my untouched plate.

As we entered the dimly-lit classroom, I remembered a greasy haired, hook-nosed professor, and felt guilt rising up in me. However, that image was quickly replaced by a pot-bellied man, who smiled beamingly at us.

“Why it’s Harry, my boy!” Slughorn gestured, to which I grimaced in return. “Ok class, I’ve organised some partners for you,” he began to list off names, placing Ron with Dean, and Hermione with some other Gryffindor. “Now, Harry dear, you can work with Malfoy,”.

I tensed, slowly trudging towards Malfoy’s desk, ignoring the pitying glances from my fellow Gryffindors, and turned a deep shade of crimson, as I remembered the scene in the train yesterday. He evidently still hadn’t told anyone, so I decided he must be keeping the knowledge for future blackmail. I settled down avoiding eye contact, ridiculously aware of every inch between us.

“Hello, Potter.” I jolted in surprise.

Had his voice dropped over the summer? I turned to face him, and saw his smooth lips quirk up in a mocking smile.

“I didn’t realise that being partners meant I’d have to teach you basic manners as well as potions,” he drawled, looking me up and down scathingly.

I withered, realising I hadn’t responded and was instead staring idiotically at him.

“Oh uh- sorry, I was uh-, just thinking,” I stuttered pathetically. Malfoy raised his eyebrows, obviously confused at my response. What the fuck Harry. This, along with my episode on the train yesterday. Malfoy probably thinks I’ve gone crazy.

Though, would that be wrong? I chuckled dryly.

Shit, Malfoy was looking at me as if I was a new specimen of dragon that was all his to study.

“Well, let’s hope you can _think_ about which potion we’re going to choose for the assignment,” Malfoy snickered at himself. I smiled in response. Wait what? I smiled?! I hadn’t smiled once since I found out about _it_ , and Malfoy was the person to make me?!  
What was wrong with me?

After potions, I headed over to charms, and went to sit down next to Hermione and Ron, who had left without me from Potions. However, when I approached the table, Ron turned and glared, putting his hand on the seat to stop me. And what the fuck were they angry about? Was he in third grade?

“What the hell, mate?” 

Hermione narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to respond but was cut off when Flitwick bustled into the room. I turned sharply and stomped to the only empty seat at the back of the class. How could they? As far as I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong. Sure, I may have been a bit short with them, but that was just how I was now. 

After two hours of fuming as Flitwick battered on about the different uses of lumos and ways in which to manipulate the spell, class finally ended, and I rapidly gathered my stuff, heading over to their table to confront them, only to find an empty table. I clenched my fists and ran my hand through my messy brown locks. 

Suddenly I deflated. Knowing me, I probably had done something wrong, and to be honest, I had run out of energy to be angry. I wrapped my arms across my chest, and realised I was standing in an empty classroom staring at a desk. I turned and shuffled to my dorm in a miserable trance. 

I knew I had defense against the dark arts now, which was supposed to be my favourite class, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. All I wanted to do was sleep, so I dumped my bag onto the dorm room floor, not caring about the items spilling out, and slowly changed into my pyjamas, then curled up under my blanket. I didn’t manage to find warmth, instead shivering, even in my hoodie and thick doova. I eventually managed to fall asleep, the last thing I saw being the blasting red ceiling staring down at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'd appreciate some comments or kudos to let me know how this is going. Did you like this chapter? I'm a little nervous about this one, so hope its ok. If you have any suggestions or stuff you would like me to include, just leave a comment and I promise to reply. Hope you're enjoying!!


	4. breakfast

I dragged my unwilling legs to breakfast. As I approached, the events of yesterday flooded back to me, and I wondered if Hermione and Ron were still upset about whatever it was I had done. 

I tentatively approached the table, and sat down across from them. 

“Hi guys,” I mumbled.

Ron clenched his jaw, and went to stand up, but was stopped by Hermione, who had something akin to pity in her eyes as she took in my bloodshot eyes and miserable expression.

“Harry, we’re prepared to forgive you, but we’re very disappointed in you,” Hermione admonished.

“But for what?” 

“For befriending Malfoy of course! Have you forgotten what he did to us?!” Hermione’s voice rose as she glared at me, gesturing madly, capturing the attention of the curious people around us.

“Befriending?! You looked like you were ready to give him a hickey, that’s what! I bet that’s what you’ve been doing isn’t it. You spent the holidays throwing yourself at a Death Eater!” Ron bellowed, his face turning a nasty shade of purple, and his fists clenched. 

What the fuck? I had spent my holiday getting treatment after treatment, enduring hell, all so I could come here and be accused of sodomy with Draco-sodding-Malfoy? And for what, talking to him civilly for an hour in which I was forced to sit with him?

I breathed in deeply, stopping myself from shouting bloody murder at them, when - shit - I felt the prickle of unwelcome tears of frustration beginning to well up. I quickly sat down, and bowed my head, wishing for my hoodie to swallow me up, wringing my bony wrists. 

“Guys, I’m sorry okay. I don’t like Draco, I never have. I’ll stop talking to him, okay?” I managed pathetically.

I glanced up through my eyelashes to see Hermione whisper something in Ron’s ear that seemed to calm him down.

“It’s okay Harry, we’ll forgive you,” Hermione announced condescendingly, then nudged Ron meaningfully.

“Yeah, what Hermione said. Just stop it though mate, it’s Malfoy for fucks sake,” Ron grumbled, looking down at his plate of bacon.

And that was it. I had just been accused of having sex with my enemy of seven years. And I had  _ apologised _ . 

I was glad for the safety of my hood as tears streamed down my face, unseen by the eager onlookers, except for one unwavering stare that seemed to pierce through it all. It came from the Slytherin table and I was sure it had just been the topic of conversation. However, I refused to give any acknowledgement, and spent the rest of breakfast staring at my empty plate, my face hidden under my hood, tears dripping off of my nose into my lap, trying to escape the oppressive chatter that filled the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm kinda proud of this chapter, so hope you liked it too! Leave me a comment or kudos to let me know?


	5. meeting

After a morning of classes, in which I stared absently out of the window, shivering in my worn out hoodie, lunch-time had finally crept up on me, and I slowly walked to Mcgonagall’s office, my eyes downcast, as I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to endure another session of pitying silence. The first time had been understandable, when I had visited her during the summer, and uncomfortably handed the St Mungos letter to her. She had read the contents multiple times, as if it could somehow have been wrong the first three times, then turned around, covered her face and wept. But for her to not be able to face me without averting her eyes, even after months of knowing, had gotten a  _ bit  _ tiresome. 

I approached the office, which opened instantly. I sighed, and entered, no use prolonging the inevitable. Madam Pomfrey and Mcgonagall were standing solemnly inside, avoiding eye contact.

“Hello,” I greeted awkwardly, bringing a hand through my tousled hair, and grimly noticing the increasing translucent nature of my skin which revealed my veins, the blue tinge contributing even more to my disheveled appearance.

“Harry,” Mcgonagall acknowledged briskly, realising her lack of response. “So how has school been?” she managed weakly, her usually stern eyes already pink.

“Good,” I lied. There was no point in actually telling them, they’d only pity me even  _ more _ .

“Have you told anyone about it?” Pomfrey butted in rudely. 

I used to like Pomfrey for her no nonsense attitude, and the many times she’d fixed me up with no questions asked when I turned up to the hospital wing with a mysterious injury. However, since she had learned about  _ it, _ she had acted like a hollow shell of the woman she’d been before around me, following Mcgonagall’s lead in the ‘ _ lets pity Harry, and cry every time we see him, making his already pathetic life even worse’ _ club. It was exactly  _ why _ I hadn’t told anyone, I didn’t want  _ pity _ . All that I wanted was to enjoy the last year of my lif- no - the last year of hogwarts. 

“No, as I told you, I will not be informing anyone.” I glared slightly, to reinforce my point.

Mcgonagall and Pomfrey exchanged exasperated glances, but they knew that I wouldn’t budge. This was  _ my _ choice. Nothing so far in my life had been mine to decide, so there was  _ no way _ I would be giving this up, as I had heatedly told them multiple times before.

“Fine,” Mcgonagall replied shortly, as if she were a stubborn child who had been denied their wishes.

After a moment of silence, I stood and opened the door, wondering if that had been the point of the whole meeting.

“Don’t forget, you will be coming for treatment at twelve tonight.”

Ahh yes. My heart sank, and my feet grew heavy as I trudged slowly through the doorway into the dimly lit corridor. Treatment. Of course. They were making sure that I wouldn’t skip it in disregard for my life, like so many of the previous patients had. Not that I would, I couldn’t bring myself to hurt my friends like that.

As I neared the end of the corridor, I looked back, and noticed distinctive pale skin and platinum hair, grey eyes flickering calculatingly between the inside of the office and myself. Shit. Had he heard our conversation? The door had only been open during the end, but Pomfrey had mentioned my treatment. 

I felt a pang of pain in my stomach, balled my hands up, my eyes prickling, and shuffled my way towards the Great Hall.


	6. treatment

Nothing much occurred during the rest of the day, without so much as a sighting of Malfoy, leaving me anxiously bouncing my leg and staring out of windows pensively during class. I left from the Gryffindor common room unnoticed that evening. I shuffled through the empty corridors, not checking for teachers as I had been given a pass to travel after curfew for my weekly Wednesday night treatments.

I hesitated for a second when I reached the Hospital Wing door, then gathered up my courage and pushed it open, glumly realising how much heavier it seemed now, as my frail hand trembled with the effort. Pomfrey was already standing next to the bed, eyes trained on the floor. I sighed and walked over to the bed, preparing myself. The first time was supposed to be the worst, and it had certainly been traumatic, with the healers going about their duties expressionlessly whilst I thrashed in anguish, but the second time hadn’t been any better. In fact, they had gradually gotten worse, each time exceeding the torture of the last. For some reason, I had the distinct feeling of being watched as I settled on a bed, but after surveying the empty rows, decided I was just being paranoid.

“Turn around,” 

I obeyed Pomfrey’s subdued command, and took in her nervous face. Great, just what I needed, another reason to be stressed. I knew I should be thankful though, I had only been permitted to leave St Mungos and stay at Hogwarts due to Pomfrey’s agreement to learn the treatment spells.

Pomfrey took a deep breath, and slashed her wand through the air three times. My heart pounded, so loud in my head that it was probably audible throughout the entire sleeping castle. 

There it was. The now familiar pain. It started as a headache, and I gritted my teeth as it slowly increased, probing around painfully in my brain. I opened my eyes absently, which I hadn’t realised I had closed in the first place, dimly registering Pomfrey fleeing into her office, shutting the door firmly with a silencing spell. 

I was quickly distracted by a throb of cutting pain in my skull, and felt an ear-splitting scream rip from my chest. The agony increased until it was all I could feel, taking over my body, my throat letting out piercing wails. It seemed to go on forever, branding itself into my mind. I barely registered my desperate thrashing until I felt the cold concrete of the ground and the pain slowly receding, signalling the end of treatment.

I groaned, and slowly blinked open my eyes, then started when I saw a distressed pair of grey ones not ten centimetres from my own emerald ones.

His face contorted in an incomprehensible way as we locked eyes, his face so close I could feel his warm breath on my cheek, then suddenly he was gone, leaving the door swinging in his wake.

I felt my breathing beginning to escalate at an alarming rate. Why the fuck was Malfoy in here?! Had he watched the whole treatment? Seen me screaming like the weak child I was? He must have heard Pomfrey announce my appointment time earlier, and came to find out the gossip. Well he had certainly achieved that. By morning the entire school would know how pathetic I was, and in less than twenty four hours, the entire wizarding world would know that the  _ Great Harry Potter _ wasn’t as undefeatable as they had thought. I knew that Malfoy must now think of me as a feeble weakling, not the equal rivals we had been for the last seven years, and I felt a debilitating pain spread through my chest, that felt different to anything the treatment had put me through.

I didn’t move or sleep for the rest of the night, I simply laid there, the cold of the concrete cutting through my thin jumper, my skinny body shivering as tears streamed down the sides of my face, staining my hood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh I'm sorry, I know this was a sad chapter, I promise some happy ones are coming up soon. guess in the comments how dracos going to react! I'd appreciate any kudos if you enjoyed this
> 
> also, side note, if anyone has a prompt/idea for a oneshot that they would like me to write, feel free to comment it :)


	7. spilling the beans

I watched absently as the light shining through the hospital wing windows slowly crept closer towards me. I should really get up. I wondered how many people knew by now? 

Knowing Malfoy, probably the entirety of Slytherin, perhaps even the whole school. I sighed, and ran a shaky hand through my silky hair, which I noted, definitely needed a trim. A pain shot through my neck as I attempted to sit up, reminding me I had spent the night on the cold concrete floor. I stood, stretching out my aching limbs.

I crept up through the castle to my dorm, thankful that nobody seemed to have woken up yet, and settled on my bed, watching Ron, his freckled face twitching as he dreamed. I had come to a sort of numb acceptance in the night, though I knew that I would be attacked for keeping the disease a secret, and would be forced to disclose its name. 

As I observed Ron mumble something unintelligible in his sleep, I felt raw helplessness building up, crawled under my doova, and buried my head into the pillow, a wracking sob escaping my throat, making me thankful that Ron was a heavy sleeper. 

I was woken barely twenty minutes later by the sound of Ron slamming the door behind him. I slowly got up, my eyelids barely obeying my commands to open, and stripped of my previous day’s clothes down to my boxers. As I went to throw on a shirt, I halted as I caught a glance of my body in the mirror. Fuck. I hadn’t known it had gotten this bad. 

I had fallen back into my infrequent eating habits I had acquired at the Dursleys, but on a taller (although admittedly not much) man’s body, I looked starved. I trailed a bony finger down my chest, cringing as I felt the outlines of my skeleton, and stared at haunted emerald eyes, which had used to sparkle with courage and determination, but were now framed with dark blue. 

No wonder I didn’t have a girlfriend, who could want me, when I walked around looking like a emaciated zombie?

I quickly dressed, shuffling my way down to the Great Hall, bracing myself for the uproar. I walked in, and sat, looking around apprehensively. People were chattering and shovelling food into their mouths, a couple absently glancing at me as I sat down.

Nothing happened.

No one paid me any notice. What the fuck? My heart sank. They didn’t care. I was sick, and absolutely nobody cared. Maybe it was better this way. No one would miss me when I d- left.

Or maybe Malfoy hadn’t told anyone, just like with the incident on the train? But why? The Malfoy that I had despised for the last seven years, would never have passed off an opportunity to humiliate me like this. 

I straightened my back and stood up abruptly, scanning the Slytherin table for Malfoy. People were already leaving for first period, but his almost glowing blonde hair and tall stature made him easy to pick out. He was staring gloomily at the ground, his eyes unfocused and bloodshot, and I strode towards him. 

“Malfoy,” I spoke forcefully when I neared him. He started, his eyes focusing on me, the Slytherins around us giving me suspicious looks, but departing as the bell rung. 

I glared up at him, feeling a torrent of emotions whirling in my stomach. 

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” I said accusingly, crossing my arms, not caring that I barely reached his chest in height. 

Suddenly, Malfoy seemed to regain his composure, and glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then wrapped his graceful fingers around my wrist, the warmth invoking an appreciate sigh- wait what? I shook my head and turned towards him, noticing he had pulled me into an empty classroom.

“What disease do you have?” Malfoy murmured quietly.

“Nothing. I’m  _ not _ sick.” I ripped my arm away from his grasp, and raised my chin cockily. 

Malfoy’s eyes narrowed, and suddenly I felt my feet leave the ground and the coldness of the wall seeping into my back, as I was held against it, Malfoy’s irate face centimetres from mine, his hot breath warming my cheeks. 

“It did not seem that way last night when I witnessed you being tortured as  _ treatment _ . Tell me,” he whispered threateningly, maintaining eye contact, his grey orbs seeming to pierce through every inch of my soul. I withered. So  _ what _ if Malfoy found out. I would have to tell everyone anyway when he put out the word that I was sick.

Malfoy must have sensed my submission, as he put me down, but stayed still, trapping me against the wall. 

“It’s called um, astor, uh-, astorities,” I stuttered, breaking eye contact to stare at the ground. There, I had said it. Soon the whole world would know, and I’d be the boy-who- _ died. _

Malfoy stood back, staring at me hauntedly. “Astorities,” he repeated softly, as if to himself. “No wonder you’ve changed.”

I flinched back. I knew I had been acting differently, but for it to be put so simply, stung. Malfoy’s face was staring intensely at me, and the classroom walls were beginning to close in on me, my breaths coming short and fast.

I turned and sprinted outside, leaving a silent Malfoy to stare at the wall in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh Draco knows!!! what will he do now???  
> as always, I'd appreciate any kudos, and a comment to let me know how this chapter went :)


	8. save him

After spending an hour in the wet grass, staring wistfully at the gloomy, grey sky, my clothes were soaked and my cheeks were pink from the cold. I had wondered whether Malfoy had told anyone, coming to the conclusion that he probably hadn’t as for some unknown reason, he hadn’t revealed anything the other times he’d had the opportunity.

  
As the bell rang in the distance, I registered that potions was about to start, and weighed my options, playing with the wet grass absently. I could skip it, but I  _ was _ partners with Malfoy, and no matter what had happened between us, I knew how much he valued his grades, especially in potions, so decided I better go, if only to get into Malfoy’s good graces.

I trudged into the castle, and made my way into the dungeons, entering the classroom meekly. I felt dizzy when multiple heads turned my way with shocked expressions, but quickly realised it was my soaking wet attire and flushed face that had them scandalised.

I tiredly scanned the people for Malfoy, easily locating his distinctive blonde head, and stumbled my way to his desk, the potion’s disgusting aromas and steam making my head spin.

As I reached out sluggishly out to him, I felt my knees giving out, and my vision went black.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

My grey eyes stared vacuously down at my potions work, my teeth clenched, and my hands ripping at my platinum locks, only dimly aware of my surroundings. Potter was dying. Harry-fucking-Potter was dying. After everything he had done for the wizarding world, the many times he had risked his life, even  _ died _ , and gone on to survive, now he was going to be killed off, slowly and painfully, by a pathetic disease. I would need to research, but from the many sorrowful legends my mother had told me as a child, I knew what astorities did. 

I wondered how many memories he’d lost so far. Probably his happiest childhood ones, depending on how long he’d had it. He had done a bloody good job hiding it, considering the whole wizarding world hadn’t found out. Eventually, Potter would only remember the darkest, most depressing moments in his life, the rest a blank. My heart pounded painfully as I imagined him at the edge of the astronomy tower, or staring at the tip of his wand, the killing curse on his lips, the way most wizards with astorities decided to go.

I started as the door slammed, bringing me back to the potions lab, and turned in my chair just in time to see Potter’s emerald eyes roll back and his frail body collapse towards me. 

I quickly lept into action and reached out with my arms, awkwardly grabbing his scrawny waist and somehow ending with him sitting in my lap, his tangled mop of hair lolled over my shoulder. 

Panic took over my body, and I frantically checked his pulse, sighing in relief when I felt a steady beat. 

I looked up, and blushed slightly as I saw the class staring in shock at the tiny body in my arms, then tensed in anger, embarrassment forgotten as I realised that not even Harry’s supposed best friends had stood out of concern.

I stood and protectively cradled Harry in my arms, his weight barely straining my arms, then paced out of the classroom, not one person uttering a word.

My heart ached.

He didn’t deserve this. To be treated like garbage by his so called  _ friends,  _ as he was dying of an agonizing disease. Staring down at his peaceful face, which I hadn’t seen this untroubled since third year, I felt tears prickling at the back of my throat. 

Maybe I couldn’t deal with it either. I didn’t know the exact moment when my hatred had turned into something more affectionate, but ever since fifth year, I had longed for something more with him. Of course, I hadn’t acted on my passions, as we had been on opposing sides of the war, and Harry had rightly despised me. 

But as I felt Harry’s warm breath on my chest, and his frail frame in my hands, I decided something. I would research everything I could to cure him, despite no one having managed before me, I would not give up. I would replace every memory he lost with an even happier one, and would treasure every moment together, and make sure he would never make that fatal decision. 

No matter what, I would save him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm SORRY ik this was sadddddddd, but dw next chapter there will be FLUFF and fun and not depressingness (hopefully).  
> sorry I didn't update for a couple days, i had SOOOO much work i almost DIED of exhaustion, but should be back to daily updating if all goes well  
> hope you liked this chapter!!! (as much as you can like sad draco :(((( )  
> leave me a comment for feedback, and a kudos if you liked it, to lemme know!\  
> also do you like the draco perspective? will still be mainly harry, but is it ok if occasionally we switch to draco?


	9. why is malfoy acting weird

My eyelids fluttered open to the view of the cream coloured ceiling which had an expanse of water staining on the left. Wasn’t this supposed to be a magical castle, shouldn’t there be a spell for that?

Then a stream of memories assaulted my mind. Strong, steady arms, a warm chest, grey eyes filled with concern. What the hell? Malfoy couldn’t have been  _ concerned _ , I was Harry Potter! And why in Merlin’s name had he carried me to the hospital wing in his arms?

I pondered this intensely, then turned my head to the side of the bed, to see none other than Malfoy sitting, slumped, on the bed opposite mine, Pomfrey nowhere to be seen. 

I shot up out of bed, the sudden movement making my head whirl, somehow tripping on my own bare feet, falling back towards my bed. Malfoy didn’t waste a second, springing up and wrapping his slender fingers around my shoulders, his warm grip firm but gentle. I flinched back sharply and stared up at him in shock. 

“Are you okay?” he exclaimed in a worried tone, his pale eyebrows furrowing above me, his hands twitching as though they were about to wrap themselves around me again.

I gaped up at him limply. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Was this someone who had taken polyjuice potion? I didn’t have any other explanation. Malfoy would never openly have shown concern for anyone, let alone  _ me _ , the person whom he despised most out of anyone.

The tense silence was broken by Pomfrey bustling up to me, whilst narrowing her beady eyes at Malfoy, and pushing me back onto the bed, demanding I get some rest. She began to interrogate me about my sleep schedule, or lack of, while I gazed suspiciously at Malfoy, who stood with a confident gate, his silver eyes trained on Pomfrey, obviously listening attentively. 

Oh right. He knew. 

Then it hit me. Malfoy was suddenly pretending to care about me, out of some sick sense of duty. He thought that since he was the only student who knew about  _ it, _ he had an obligation to care for me and to feign concern. 

Pomfrey seemed satisfied by my lackluster responses, and thankfully left to return to her office, with another mistrustful gaze at Malfoy. 

My chest felt hollow. This was exactly why I hadn’t told anyone. From now on, both Malfoy and myself would feel awkward whenever we saw one another, and he would pretend to be sympathetic and kind.

I registered Malfoy striding to the foot of my bed, and placing his arms down, a smirk on his face as he spoke in a silky, low drawl.

“Soooo… What do you want to do for the rest of the day, since Pomfrey excused you from lessons?” A confident smile was plastered across his face, his grey eyes staring directly into mine.

He wanted to spend time with me now?!

My breath came short and sharp as his piercing gaze cut through me, and my head panged, confusion and a torrent of other emotions storming in my stomach. Yanking the covers from my bed, I jumped onto the cold concrete floor, and once again bolted, dimly registering that this was now becoming a habit for us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so malfoys started to show he cares! finally. unfortunately, harry doesnt rly understand, not that I can blame him.  
> did you like this chapter? im a lil iffy about it, but hopefully it makes sense.  
> thank you for reading!!


	10. fine.

As I ran through the corridor outside, my heart pounding in my chest, I heard Malfoy shout my name, his footsteps pounding on the concrete floor behind me.

“Harry, slow down!” 

I increased my speed, my head hurting as I realised that he had addressed me as Harry for perhaps the first time in the eight years I had known him. As I burst through the doors and ran onto the wet grass, I felt his strong hand grab my shoulder and firmly spin me around, pinning me onto the wall. 

“Let me go!” I exclaimed, my green eyes flashing in anger and humiliation at so easily being pushed around by Malfoy.

“I would, if you’d stop running like a spooked deer every two seconds,” he quipped back.

I stared defiantly up into his frowning face, the warmth of his grip seeping through my shirt from the previous night, but then realised. Why not let him feel as though he’s done something noble by pretending to care for me? It would be selfish to force him to carry the burden of not having done anything at all when the  _ savior _ was dy- sick. I would let him feel virtuous for a couple of days, and act as though I was completely fine, and not in need of any assistance, so then he would feel accomplished, and leave me alone again. 

My chest felt cold, and my shoulders slumped.

“Harry?” 

I looked up to see Malfoy peering down at me worriedly. I stared sadly up at his imposing body looming over me, his platinum hair framing his concerned grey eyes, which I noted looked much better let loose than they had slicked back, then quickly realised I was already failing my plan of acting healthy, and managed a weak smile. 

“So… what did you want to do?” I let out pathetically, glancing meekly up at him.

Malfoy stared down at me bemusedly, then a large grin slowly spread across his face.

“Follow me,” he instructed, a small smile gracing his lips as he wrapped his slender fingers around my wrist, and practically dragged me until I was jogging to keep up with his long strides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ik this is kind short, but the next ones gonna be long and I didn't know how else to cut it up. hope u like!


	11. hoodie

“Where are we going?” I questioned indignantly, to which I did not get a response.

I sighed dramatically, but couldn’t help but let a small smile escape as I looked at the determination on Malfoy’s face as he dragged me through the gates in the direction of Hogsmeade.

As we reached the outskirts of the village, I halted suddenly, realising that in my haste I had somehow forgotten that I would be recognised as Harry Potter. Malfoy would mostly be avoided, as although his father was widely despised, his mother’s protection of myself, along with my testimony, had led people to just try and ignore his existence.

Malfoy turned and ran his elegant fingers questioningly down my arm, and I blushed as an uncontrollable shiver ran down my spine in response. 

“I can’t go to Hogsmeade, I’ll be swarmed,” I muttered, not quite sure why I was so disappointed by this revelation, but not willing to think about it either.

Malfoy’s face dropped, eyebrows furrowing, then smiled triumphantly, showing off his pearly white teeth. He swiftly pulled his Slytherin green hoodie off to reveal a grey shirt, and I dragged my eyes away awkwardly as his lithe muscles rippled, then jumped as he dumped the sweatshirt into my arms, accompanied with his signture smirk.

“Wear this and no one will be able to see your face!” he announced dramatically.

I stood there dumbfoundedly as I stared at the dark green fabric bundled against my chest. Draco-sodding-Maldoy had just given me his hoodie to wear. 

“Are you aware of how to put on clothes? Or perhaps, you require lessons in that as well,” Malfoy snickered, looking down at me expectantly.

I shook my head absently, and quickly pulled the green hoodie over my head, wincing slightly as my muscles remembered their rough sleep the previous night. Pulling my arms through the sleeves of the hoodie, I cringed as I realised how big it was on me, hanging off me as if it were a dress. I breathed in deeply, my dark lashes fluttering as I was engulfed with the overwhelming smell of vanilla. Fuck.

Shit. I flushed deeply as I noticed Malfoy staring at me intently, an undistinguishable look piercing through me, and desperately pulled the hood over my dark locks and tightened the draw strings, looking anywhere but at him.

“Ok, I’m -uh ready now,” I stuttered shortly, and set off down the path, determined not to gaze back at Malfoy.

“Lead the way.”

His voice was low, and clouded by something I couldn’t identify, but as I quickened my pace, my cheeks burned more furiously than ever.


	12. walk with malfoy

We entered the relatively empty streets of hogsmeade, a comfortable silence having settled over us as we strode past the colourful shops. My eyes lingered on the fading sign of Fred and George’s prank shop, which had been abandoned ever since Fred had died in the Battle of Hogwarts. My heart sunk as I remembered the caring, carefree boy, and a fresh layer of guilt came over me as I realised I hadn’t bothered to even enquire how George was coping without his other half. I made a mental note to ask Ron at some point, then cringed at the thought of talking to the quick tempered red-head. 

As my feet slowed on the pavement I felt Malfoy touch my shoulder questioningly and I shivered then let out a wane smile at him in return, attempting to quicken my pace, fiddling with the dark green hoodie sleeves, indulging in the soft fuzzy inside material and lingering smell of vanilla.

Malfoy’s eyebrow quirked worriedly but he seemed to brush it off and his eyes lit up as he took in our surroundings. 

“We’re almost there!” 

His voice seemed to barely contain his obvious joy, and I wondered sadly why I hadn’t seen him smile like this before, as his radiant beam was oddly contagious.

“So can you tell me where we’re going yet?” I asked, a small smile in my voice, which I sadly realised hadn’t been there in a long time. 

Malfoy turned to grin down at me, and shook his blond locks, which had been displaced by chasing after me earlier, and were softly glowing in the sunlight. I registered dimly that he looked very attractive like this, and hoped he’d wear it like that more often, but stubbornly not addressing this thought.

As we reached the edge of the village I realised where we were heading. A small ice-skating ring had been placed on a grassy area, and I wondered how it was being sustained in the relatively warm weather, then bashfully remembered that this was indeed a magical village. I sighed, I really would never fit into either the magical or muggle world. 

Catching a glimpse of the flat white ice reflecting the bright, warm sunlight, I wondered if I would just embarrass myself in front of Malfoy. I had never actually been skating before, as the Dursleys weren’t exactly the most athletic people, with their pudgy bodies. I doubted they would have taken me anyways, as I was usually left to cook or clean, or just sit in my cupboard instead of being a nuisance to them. However, I had seen it on the television many times, catching glimpses through the kitchen, admiring their elegant and majestic movements, and extravagant costumes. I cringed as I remembered a dream I had harboured for a couple months of becoming an ice skater one day, after having the winter olympics constantly on the television as I did my chores.

That dream was quickly disillusioned by my uncle catching me watching and bellowing at me for an hour that skating was a girl’s sport and that I was a disgrace to his family for even watching. 

“So what do you think of going ice skating?” Malfoy’s smooth, deep voice broke through my spiraling thoughts and I remembered where I was.

We had reached the front of the ice rink, which was completely void of humans, instead having a bowl which Malfoy had deposited an unreasonable amount of galleons in, and he was holding two pairs of black ice skates in his hands, his body positively radiating with excitement.

To my own surprise I raised my head and looked up at his slightly nervous but animated face and smiled. 

“I would love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS IM SO SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED THIS FIC ITS ACTUALLY RLY EMBARRASSING SO I DECIDED TO POST A SCHOOL PIECE AS A DRARRY FANFIC ON MY ACCOUNT (I deleted it since) AND THEN MY TEACHER OF THREE YEARS FOUND IT BECAUSE MY PIECE WAS FLAGGED AS COPYRIGHTED AND THEN HE FOUND THIS ACCOUNT AND SAW MY FANFICS AND SO I KINDA ABANDONED IT BUT ITS BEEN A FEW MONTHS AND HOPEFULLY HE HAD FORGETTEN AND IF HE HASNT AND HE IS READING THIS PLEASE CLICK OFF THIS IS RLY EMBARRASSING 
> 
> anywayyssss im back hehheheeh hopefully I start posting regularly again
> 
> also if anyone has any feedback on this chapter or ideas for what can happen next or when they go ice skating pls comment I would appreciate it so much and KUDOS PLEASEEEE :))))))))


	13. ice skating

Malfoy carefully handed me one of the black skate pairs.

“They will automatically adjust to your foot size,” he informed me as we sat down on the sun-warmed grass, then to my surprise and slight embarrassment kneeled in front of me and with an uncharacteristically gentle manner, pushed the skates onto my feet. As he had said, they immediately shrunk to fit my small feet.

As he elegantly tied the laces, my eyes were drawn to Malfoy’s relaxed face, and I watched as a shadow of worry flitted across his features, wondering what was going through his head. I looked around for something to distract him and my eyes landed on his left wrist, which was covered mostly by his grey long sleeve shirt, but had a black marking, which looked like snake scales. My eyes widened dramatically. Malfoy had a tattoo?!

Before I could open my mouth to ask about it, Malfoy stood up, his body looming over mine, and I realised he had managed to put on my skates and his own skates on without me noticing. As I stared dumbly up at him, his sharp features softened with a teasing smile. He extended an arm towards me and I hesitated.

“Scared, Potter?” Malfoy said with a smirk.

To my surprise I let out a loud laugh, and took his smooth hand, carefully standing. Malfoy had an extremely pleased expression on his face, and guided me to the entrance of the ice rink. 

How did Malfoy manage to look poised even when walking with ice skates on grass? I waddled over, supported by his arm, oddly aware of how close his imposing figure was to mine.

“So have you ever been ice skating before?” His deep, silky voice interrupted my thoughts.

“No, I’ve always wanted to though, you?” 

“Yes when I was little at parties. I loved it but I haven’t had the opportunity in years,” Malfoy’s voice trailed off at the end, his head obviously turning to gloomy memories.

“Well you’ll have to teach me then!” I said enthusiastically in an attempt to stop Malfoy’s darkening face, then cringed immediately.

Malfoy’s eyebrows rose, then a smirk settled onto his face.

“Oh I  _ will _ ,” he drawled, staring pointedly at me, and I blushed hard at the way he enunciated the words, wondering if I should be regretting agreeing to come.

Before I could back out I felt Malfoy’s strong hand on my lower back, pushing me gently onto the ice, and I immediately began to slip backwards at the strange, unbalanced feeling of the ice, collapsing backwards into Malfoy’s steady arms. My blush came back with full force when I realised he was effectively hugging me from behind. 

Malfoy’s arms guided me towards the balustrade and I clung on, and turned to watch Malfoy. He pushed off the edge, gliding gracefully through the rink, his blond locks flowing mesmerizingly behind him, and his sharp white features illuminated by the sun reflecting off the ice. I wondered how he managed to look so handsome even when wearing a simple shirt and jeans, then stiffened as I realised the direction my thoughts were heading. 

Malfoy did a few extravagant turns, his skates twisting sharply on the ice. I smiled slightly. He never would pass up an opportunity to show off.

I looked up to see him skating towards me, his skates stopping only a couple of centimetres before my own. I stared up at his confident smirk questioningly, then yelped in alarm as I was pulled by the wrists away from the edge.

“MALFOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” I shrieked indignantly as I was pulled along the ice towards the middle of the rink, Malfoy never letting go of me.

“Teaching you of course, are you really so senile that you can’t remember what you asked of me?” Malfoy said with the largest self-satisfied smirk, a chuckle leaving his lips.

I knew I probably should be offended, but yet again to my surprise I giggled in response, which Malfoy must have taken as encouragement, because he swiftly turned me around, so my back was pressing against his stomach. I was extremely glad he wasn’t facing me as I was sure my face would have been crimson. 

Hyper aware of Malfoy’s lithe muscles rubbing against my bony back, Malfoy began to instruct me through the movements, showing me how to move forward, and even showing me how to do a mini turn, which although it consisted of me standing with both my feet on the ice and scratchily turning with my arms, I was quite proud of it. 

We skated for hours, occasionally exchanging banter, with Malfoys deep laugh filling the air along with my soft giggles. As we noticed the light beginning to decrease, we were both shocked. I hadn’t realised it was that late, and I had a potions essay due tomorrow which I had barely started. 

We scrambled to take off our skates and began to run panickedly back through Hogsmeade, but as we neared the edge of Hogwarts, I realised a smile was still plastered onto my face, and felt a little warmth grow inside me as I saw Malfoy’s identical one beaming back at me. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! im kinda proud of this chapter, as im such a sucker for cliches and ice skating is such a classic :))  
> if you liked this please please please leave a comment I love reading them so much and I will reply to every single one, and also KUDOS are much appreciated  
> ✨(◕▿◕✿) ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ (⁍̴̆◡⁍̴̆ )⊃✫⌒*✨


	14. astronomy tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

We entered Hogwarts through a side corridor just before dinner, and I shyly muttered a quick goodbye to Malfoy who smirked at me and sauntered confidently off towards the dungeons. I began to shuffle towards the Gryffindor tower, a small smile playing on my lips. 

Suddenly my stomach sank. During the day I had almost been able to fool myself into thinking Malfoy had actually been enjoying time with me, forgetting the real reason he was suddenly hanging out with me. 

I made a mental note to make sure not to forget and get attached to someone who would abandon me after a few days, or at the longest a couple of weeks, in order to relieve their guilty conscience. 

As I muttered the password “euphoria” to the fat lady and stepped into the blaring red common room I chuckled darkly to myself at the juxtaposition of the complete and utter joy the word represented, in contrast to my quickly darkening mood. 

“Harry!” Hermione’s shrill voice rang out, making me wince, and I turned slowly to see her curled up in an armchair on Ron’s lap, her nose buried in a thick textbook. The sight made me feel guiltily squeamish. 

Sitting next to them was Ginny, who was pointedly staring at the ground, her copper hair falling over her face, and her posture tense. I sighed as I walked over. I wondered if things would ever mend between us after I had dumped her for good through mail, shortly after the war. It was a completely horrible way to do it, but I had to, as it would be entirely unethical to date her when i was gonn- sick, and, I had quite frankly realised I held little attraction to her at all. What I had received in return was spotted with dried tears and filled with curse words and aggression. I didn’t blame her. 

Ron seemed to have forgiven me for my so-called wrongdoings, and acknowledged me with a “mate” as I approached them hesitantly. 

“Where were you today?” Hermione pointedly asked, her narrowed brown eyes scanning me aggressively.

Shit I wasn’t prepared for this.

“Um, just in the library, Madam Pomfrey gave me the day off since I -uh fainted,” I managed. To be honest I wasn’t sure quite why I lied, but I really didn’t want to relight their anger at Malfoy and I supposedly being friends.

“I didn’t see you when I went after school?”

Of course she went to the library.

“Oh eh I was in the back, reading -um quidditch books,”

Hermione seemed put off her interrogation by this, never being one to engage in quidditch talk, and I sighed in relief, standing awkwardly, pulling at my sleeves. 

“What’s that hoodie?” Ginny was staring at me, obviously having gotten over her shyness, shock evident in her eyes.

I cringed, I really should have given it back to Malfoy, but I had completely forgotten I was wearing it.

“I just borrowed it from someone cause I was cold,” I pleaded, praying they would leave me alone.

“Why would Malfoy give you his sweater?” Ginny asked, a look of betrayal and anger lighting her eyes. “So Ron was right, you really are a poof, and dating a death eater.” Her words were laced with venom, and complete fury.

My eyes widened. How in Merlin’s name did she know this was Malfoy’s?! I searched the front of the hoodie with my eyes and realised that in true Malfoy fashion, he had embroidered Draco. M on the hems.

I gazed up dazedly at the three of them, Ginny rising from her seat fiercely, looking on the verge of tears, Ron’s face slowly turning purple, his eyebrows narrowed and his mouth open about to bellow something, and Hermione’s scathing look of utter disgust and indignance. 

The red walls collapsing in on me, I turned around and ran, ignoring their shouts, stumbling through the fat lady’s portrait, bolting down the stairs and through the halls of Hogwarts, my chest heaving with the strain of running, until I reached the top of the astronomy tower. I paused at the edge, then collapsed onto the floor, leaning against the wall of the balcony, my breaths coming short and sharp. 

After regaining some of my composure I considered going back down to dinner and telling them that they were wrong, that I wasn’t really a poof, but my body seemed to be made out of cement as I couldn’t bring myself to move an inch. I stared tiredly up at the sky, which was mostly covered with dark clouds, a couple of stars shining through. As I sat there for Merlin knows how long, my thoughts began to take over.

What would happen when I died? I had been an atheist since I was a child, but ever since discovering magic I had come to think anything was possible. If there was a heaven, would I make it in? Or would I be sent to hell, forced to endure a form of torture forever, as a result of the people I had killed in the war, or some other magnitude of reasons. What would hell be like? 

If I was completely honest I couldn’t imagine a life worse than the one I was living right now. I was slowing dy- getting sicker everyday, and not a soul cared about me, in fact most people hated me, my so-called friends believing the worst of me at every turn. The only people who knew about my disease treated me like a fragile doll to be pitied and babied. I guess Malfoy hadn’t been acting that way, but it was only a matter of time. 

Why should I be forced to live out the rest of my miserable life if I was only gonna die in the end anyway. I wondered numbly how Malfoy would react when I died. If he would care at all. I doubted it. In fact he would probably be relieved, to no longer have the burden of trying to make my miserable life slightly better for a short while. I eyed the edge of the balcony. 

“Harry?” Malfoy’s concerned shout broke my trance and I realised I was dangerously close to the balustrade, my body poised, ready to take the final push.

Malfoy’s strong arm grabbed mine and yanked me backwards, and suddenly I was on the floor, chest heaving with sobs, my face stuffed into Malfoy’s chest, his arms pulling me in tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys im rly sorry for this chapter, but don't worry, Harry's ok 😭😭😭😭😭   
> pls give me some feedback, was this chapter okay? im not rly used to writing in this style, so please let me know!  
> as always I appreciate KUDOS and will reply to all comment :))))


	15. for the better

I stayed sitting there in Draco’s strong arms for hours, my sobs eventually dying down to sniffles and then disappearing, leaving behind a comfortable silence. I wondered how long it would go, as I certainly didn’t want to be the one to break it.

At last, Draco spoke, the words tearing down the trance we had been stuck in for the last couple hours.

“You good?” His voice was smooth and steady, but layered with concern and worry.

I squirmed, embarrassedly untangling myself from his limbs, and immediately shivering at the loss of warmth. Was I okay? I certainly wasn’t great, but I felt much better than I had before.

“Yeah I’m all good.” Blushing slightly I shyly glanced up at Draco, who was watching me carefully, a torrent of unidentifiable emotions and thoughts swirling through his grey eyes. 

“Thank you, for -um, coming up here.” 

I wondered how he found me, as it’s not as if he had his own Marauder's Map to help him.

He seemed to sense my confusion and answered my unverbalised question.

“You weren’t at dinner, and I’ve noticed you tend to come up here when you’re stressed.”

My eyes widened impossibly. How on earth did Malfoy know that? 

“Speaking of dinner, you need to eat something,” Draco’s worried demeanour had completely disappeared, and he was now speaking briskly and confidently smirking. He stretched out his legs and stood up, reaching out a hand and pulling me up.

Inside my head I thanked him with all of my being for not mentioning the events that had just taken place, and allowed him to guide me in the direction of the Great Hall. 

“Draco, I really can’t go to the hall, Ron and Mione are angry at me and my face is, you know.”

Draco was staring at me in surprise for some reason, and I wondered what it was that I had said. He seemed to regain his composure and smirked an extremely self satisfied smile. 

“Don’t worry  _ Harry, _ we aren’t going to the Hall.” Draco had a devious expression on his face as he said this and I wondered confusedly what on earth he was thinking about.

Without letting me ask where we were going, Draco strode off down the corridor, my short legs struggling to keep up. When we finally stopped walking, I took in my surroundings, my lungs heaving. We were standing in a dark stone corridor lined with snake engravings. Shit.

“Why are we going to the Slytherin dormitory?” I asked panickedly. I couldn’t eat dinner in there! If someone saw us, Ron and Hermione would never give me the light of day to explain myself, and our already broken friendship would be permanently shattered.

“How do you know that it’s here?” Malfoy looked extremely confronted by this information. “Has some 6th year _ slut  _ snuck you in?” He snarked venomously, ridgedly folding his arms and narrowing his grey eyes, his tone increasing to a low shout.

I gaped openly at his words and sudden change in demeanour. Why was he so mad?? My jaw tensed and I raised my eyebrows.

“No, of course not, as if I’d date a  _ snake. _ ” I rose up to my full height and crossed my arms. “What’s it to you anyways, afraid  _ ‘Harry Potter the Saviour’ _ could have killed a  _ Death Eater _ like you in your sleep?”

Fuck. As soon as the words left my lips I knew I had gone too far. Malfoy’s eyes widened and he recoiled visibly, then looked me up and down scathingly.

“Get. Out.” He spoke the words low and sharp, his pale features tense with barely withheld fury, grey eyes burning into my soul.

I winced, and slowly turned around, walking slowly towards the Gryffindor Tower, taking in what had just happened. I’d finally confronted the main reason we were never truly gonna be friends, despite Malfoy’s attempts to play the selfless angel. Our past would never let us.

And with that one careless comment I had destroyed whatever chance we may have had. I trudged up the Gryffindor tower stairs, ignoring the few people who stayed at dinner late and were only just returning. 

Maybe this was for the better. If I cut myself off from everyone, no one would miss me when I- when I got sicker. Yes. That was what I would do. I’d make everyone hate me, which I was already unintentionally succeeding at, and when the inevitable happened, life for them would barely change, and no one would be hurt.

As I slunk through the deserted common room I was thankful the others weren’t there to yell at me. Running a hand through my messed up brown locks, I stumbled into my dorm, flinching at Ron’s loud snores, and shrugging into my pyjamas. I tried not to look at my red-rimmed eyes in the mirror, and ignored the gurgle of my stomach alerting me I hadn’t eaten today. 

As I shivered under my blaring red covers I dimly remembered my potions essay due tomorrow but I couldn’t really bring myself to care. I didn’t move from under my thin covers for hours, until I eventually fell into a restless slumber, my nightmares plagued with purple yelling faces and empty cemeteries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys im sorrrryyyy idk why I keep making all of the chapters so sad :((((((((
> 
> I PROMISE IN THE FUTURE THE STORY GETS BETTER THO SO STICK AROUND FOR FLUFF  
> as always I would rly appreciate any comments letting me know how the chapter went, all of which ill reply to, and KUDOS are great for motivation like always :))


	16. you can do it harry

I woke up to harsh light streaming onto my hallowed skin. Letting out a groan, I cast a quick tempus and banged my head against the wall when I saw there were only five minutes until class. Defence against the Dark Arts. 

I felt a wave of grief as I remembered the excitement I would have once felt, compared to the emptiness that now haunted me.

I pulled my reluctant, heavy limbs out of my covers, and as I gingerly placed my bare feet onto the cold polished floor, a wave of fresh dizziness hit me, making me sway on the spot and fall back down on my bed. Could I just go one day without something shit happening. No of course not, because I was Harry Potter, wasn’t I. And that was all I was allowed to be.

Shaking my head in an attempt to stop the room spinning, I roughly pulled on my robes and grabbed my stuff, then jogged down the stairs towards the classroom. 

I arrived just as Shacklebolt was beginning to enthusiastically explain the dynamics of a new form of shield charm. Quickly sitting down at the first empty spot I could find, not taking notice of my surroundings, I closed my eyes with my head slumped onto the hard wooden desk, hoping to get some more sleep, and make up for my rapidly draining energy.

However, after a couple minutes of sitting there with no avail, I jerked in annoyance. The person beside me was sitting stock still, but I could positively feel the animosity reeling off of them in waves.

I banged my head softly against the desk in frustration as their tension increased until I could no longer stand it, Shacklebolt's droning words drilling into my brain. My body tense, I suddenly whipped my head around, narrowing my green eyes and spitting out a snark. 

“What is your problem?!” I yelled unnecessarily loud. Oh shit. Fuck. I was met with platinum blonde locks and a sharp pale face looming over me imposingly.

“Dra- Malfoy.” I stuttered, cringing immediately.

I blushed in embarrassment as his structured jaw tensed impossibly at my shout, and I was scathingly looked up and down with burning charcoal eyes, then turned away from and disregarded. I looked up to the front of the class, and turned an even darker shade of crimson as I realised Shacklebolt was waiting for us impatiently, his arms crossed and foot tapping.

“Potter, Malfoy, detention tomorrow at eight in my office.” With that he turned back to the board and began to drone on again. I defiantly stared at my desk as I saw Ron and Hermione look back at me with disapproval and anger, and then turn and whisper in each other's ears, probably about how Mafloy had already started being a bad influence on me. 

Fuck. What was up with my luck, I just really had to sit next to Draco didn’t I? Then again, when had my luck ever been good. And now, he would hate me even more than previously because I had scored him detention when I knew he was actively trying to clear his record.

Malfoy didn’t acknowledge me for the rest of the lesson, angrily swishing his way out of the room with a confused Pansy and Zabini in tow. He was soon followed by Ron and Hermione, Hermione obviously pushing Ron out of the door quickly to avoid a conflict between the two of us, but still giving me a condescending look on the way out which made me tense up with annoyance. What right did she have to judge me?

I cringed, and suddenly something broke inside me, a fresh layer of grief and sadness washing over and infiltrating every part of my soul. I gathered my things into my bag and slowly made my way out to my next class, which was potions.

Slughorn, still one of the few people left at Hogwarts who was awed by my stardom, accepted my feeble apology about my incomplete homework and halfhearted promise to give it in the next week. 

Malfoy went through the class methodically writing and taking notes, not sparing me a glance, despite being seated right next to me. 

I spent the time staring at a water stain on the wall and wondering why it couldn’t just be spelled away, after all, wasn’t this a magical castle where all was possible? I almost chuckled at the sentence, vaguely remembering when I had still naively believed that.

I slowly went through the rest of the day in a trance-like state, until I was somehow back in my cold, glaring, bed, softly whispering the same mantra I had been repeating in my mind the whole day.

“It’s for the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys ik this chapter isn't the best but im tired so here you go <3333 hopefully its not tooo bad  
> also thx to girl_with_a_pen because she gave me the idea to do a draco pov next chapter


	17. attack of the annabelle

The next couple of days passed in much the same way, and I went through the motions of life, whilst attempting to ignore the hateful glares and animosity. I spent Saturday exploring the castle wistfully, recalling as many positive memories as I could, trying to convince myself that I had lived a fulfilling life, and that everything was gonna be for the best in the end.

As I walked through a dark, deserted corridor, leading to a small indoor garden filled with exotic flowers, I wistfully remembered running through it with Hermione and Ron, chattering about Merlin knows what. I strode slowly, tracing my finger on the stone walls, appreciating the strange textures of each stone.

Had they really cared for me? They must have, as no 11 year old could keep up with pretending they enjoyed someone’s company, along with the fact that we had been friends for six whole years.

But for them to just abandon me, to turn their backs on me, said something about the quality of the friendship. Although, I sighed gravely, maybe they believed I was doing the same to them, which, in a way I was, by not attempting to rekindle the friendship. But I couldn’t, because well, I was sick. Not that they knew that.

I sighed deeply and my shoulders sagged as I reached the start of the indoor garden. I thought back to when I ran in here with Ron and Hermione, and I was suddenly overcome with dizziness that made the entire room spin. I threw my arms out for support, and fell roughly onto the stone floor, leaning my back against a wall panickedly. 

Why couldn’t I remember?!

Oh yeah, that. My disease. Shit.

I must have been avoiding thinking about its effects for so long I had almost forgotten. Well not completely, it had always been hanging there in the back of my mind. 

But that didn’t explain why I was so dizzy? Was this some strange side effect that no one had warned me of? 

I considered researching this in the library, but quickly banished that idea from my mind. That would mean confronting the- more drastic effects, and I knew I couldn’t do that without spiraling. I surveyed the room, taking in the many colourful flower pots, my eyes widening as I noticed a strange amount of dark stains lining the walls. What was with Hogwarts and not keeping up with keeping the building up to standard anymore?

I shifted my back so I was as comfortable as I could be against the cold stone wall and closed my tired eyes, sighing deeply.

Why was life just so unfair? 

And why couldn’t me, allegedly the only person strong enough to defeat Voldemort, even come to terms with his own dea- disease, or even  _ read  _ about it. I was a failure. A complete and utter failure of a man.

Maybe that’s what I was being punished for by the world, for being a phony and tricking people into thinking I was a brave and deserving Gryffindor. I mean the hat  _ had _ originally wanted to put me in Slytherin-

My thought was interrupted by a loud jeer from an unrecognizable voice.

“So,  _ what _ do we have here?” A tan girl with long brown curls, wearing Ravenclaw Robes and holding her wand loosely in her grip, was standing aggressively in front of me, while a tall asian girl with thick, long black hair and mean-looking features, was grinning maniacally down at me, with a set Gryffindor robes on. Next to them was also another guy from Ravenclaw, who I recognised as Terry Boot, a quiet guy who used to be in Dumbledore’s army.

I stared up confusedly at them, what did they want from me? And who were the two girls?? I didn't recognise either of them, and I slightly panickedly wondered if I had completely forgotten them because of the illness. Before I could react, the Ravenclaw girl spoke in a low sneer.

“ _ My  _ name is Leila Dubui.” She flourished slightly at this and I stared dumbly at her satisfied smirk, with growing disbelief. 

She kept going, gesturing next to the Gryffindor girl, who was still staring at me slightly creepily, the unnerving smile plastered onto her face. 

“This is Annabelle Lee, and you already probably know Terry. Us two girls are from the same school, but it was sadlyyy destroyed in the war, so we transferred here! And we have heard  _ all _ about  _ you. _ ” She spoke with enthusiasm that put me on edge.

I stared up at them. I really could not be bothered dealing with strange girls who were probably just fans with a weird obsession. Maybe I could just ignore them, despite the rudeness. Maybe I was entitled to be rude at this moment. 

I bowed my head, wrapped my arms around my legs and closed my eyes, hoping they would get the message and leave me alone.

Suddenly, a bright pink light flashed in front of my eyes and I screamed high and sharp, as a burning hot, anguish-inducing, raw pain began to spread all across my body, a bright light shining in front of my eyes, blocking out everything, my senses muffled. As the red hot pain became too much to bear, I heard the dim sound of footsteps walking hurriedly away from me. 

And my world went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I entered the stone door to the Slytherin Common Room with Pansy and Blaise, my head lost in thought as they chattered mindlessly about who would win the upcoming quidditch tournaments. My mind hadn’t been able to stop focusing on blasted Harry Potter, despite my every effort to cast him from my thoughts.

I clenched my jaw and ran a hand through my dishevelled hair, cringing at the thought. I had been tossing and turning the last couple of nights, which had left me looking like shit. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I just wanted to get over it. But I couldn’t. 

Harry had called me a death eater, and proven to me that was all he would ever think of me of. I had thought that him beginning to call me Draco instead of Malfoy had meant he was beginning to see me as at least a friend, or someone to be trusted, but that foolish idea had been wiped away as soon as he uttered those words.

Pansy haltered in her explanation to Blaise that Potter was the only thing keeping the Gryffindor Team alive, so the outcome of the match all depended on whether he was in the team, to turn around and sigh dramatically at me.

“Are you still stuck on Harry? If you’re so hung up on it just go apologise and confess your undying love,” Pansy and Blaise tittered at this and I frowned, but without any real heat, playfully shoving her away and then returning to my musings as we entered the common room, walking over to the dark green sofas in front of the fireplace. 

As we were making to sit down I heard a third year girl whisper something excitedly to her gaggle of friends. 

“Did you hear Harry’s in the Hospital wing?”

“What for?” The others leaned in closely, hungry for some new gossip. I sat up straighter, what if she knew he had astorities?! 

“Um, I don’t know exactly but I heard that someone tried to kill him and now he’s in a coma!!!”

My heart pounded, and I shot up from my seat, panic and adrenaline thrumming through my blood, making a beeline for the door, ignoring my friends’ shocked exclamations. 

This was my fault. I had been selfish and immature, and left Harry all by himself, and he could have died. I ran out of the common room and sped down the corridors, dashing past bystanders, and into the Hospital Wing, gasping for breath and grabbing my sides. 

Shit. Harry was laying in the main bed, his face completely devoid of colour, and his breathing slow and inconsistent. In fact, he almost looked as if.. 

I dashed towards his bed and grabbed his arm, checking frantically for any sign of a pulse. Pressing my fingers to his slender wrist, I sighed in relief when I felt a soft beat, and relaxed my body, but for some reason found myself unable to tear my hands away from his hands. 

As I stood there rapidly gasping for air, I studied his pale, sleeping face, his lack of sleep apparent in the dark rings circling his eyes, his long dark lashes fluttering occasionally, and a small line of drool leaking from his soft, cherry coloured lips. His dark hair was tousled adorably, and I found myself wanting to run my fingers through it, but resisted the urge.

Harry just looked so… fragile. I knew that he wasn’t, after all he had defeated the strongest dark lord of our time, but right now, with his disease, lack of eating and lack of sleep, he was vulnerable. 

And I had left him to defend himself.

And someone had hurt him.

A dark, bitter anger unfurled itself deep within me, and my narrowed charcoal eyes began to light up with pure fury. I would find whoever did this to him, and I would make them pay. For now, I would stay with him, and make sure he was safe and recovering. 

But once I knew he was protected, they would wish they had never laid eyes on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYYY GUYSSSS THIS IS ONE OF MY LONGEST CHAPTERS SO FAR AHA  
> idk if the quality is that great but ohhhhh wellll :(((  
> also thank you so much to everyone who has been commenting and giving KUDOS   
> I APPRECIATE U SO MUCHHHHHH AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPPPYYYY  
> ily guys tysm for reading <333333


	18. hospital wing

Fuck. 

Where was I?

I opened my heavy eyelids slowly, my pounding headache increasing dramatically at the shock of bright light streaming directly onto my face. Immediately slamming them back shut, I slowly squinted at my surroundings, allowing my eyes to gradually get used to the light. 

Through my eyelashes, I easily recognised the blank walls and rows of identical, plain beds lining the edges of the room, as the Hospital Wing. 

Why was I here? I tried to recall what had taken place. 

I had been sitting against a wall in the garden, feeling dizzy, and then what? 

Oh. 

I winced as I remembered the debilitating pain that was permanently burnt into my mind. I didn’t think I had ever felt pain that severe, not even the crucio curse. But what had happened in between those memories to cause that? Had I been cursed, or was this a side effect of my illness?

I searched my mind completely, but the memory seemed to be locked away somewhere in my head, inaccessible no matter how hard I concentrated.

Sighing audibly, I tiredly shook out my cramped up limbs, cringing at the effort, my legs seemingly cemented onto the bed. How long had I been sleeping for?

Running a shaky hand through my tousled hair, I leaned against the frame of the bed, putting the pillow behind my back and using my hands to prop me up.

“FUCK!” I cursed as I jerked, hitting my head on the hard concrete behind me, as I spotted a mess of blonde hair sitting not a metre from me, his lanky body crumpled in a chair next to my bed, sharp features relaxed and his eyes closed. 

I watched him for a second confusedly, rubbing my aching head and muttering a curse as I found an already forming lump.

Why on earth was Draco sleeping there? I listened to his breathing, which was strong and steady, and I found myself oddly comforted by his presence, but cringed embarrassedly as I remembered our last interactions.

I took this time to observe him, a rare moment of peace between us, no pity, resentment, hidden grudges, or strange emotions. 

His platinum blonde hair was tangled, a rare sight for sure, and one that I found myself liking a bit too much, but I filed away that information to figure out later. 

His structured face really had changed since last year, his smooth, defined jaw filling out, as well as his pouty lips, which my eyes oddly lingered on, his soft pink, smooth mouth drawing my attention.

Blushing deeply, I sharply turned my head away and fidgeted with my fingers nervously. What was I doing, watching Draco in his sleep like a bent old perv. Anyways, I was straight. Wasn’t I…? 

I pinched myself roughly on my arm, desperately trying to bring myself out of my rapidly spiraling thoughts.

It didn’t matter if I were straight or not, because I would be gon-, not able to have a relationship, by the end of next year, and my job right now was to be pushing people away, not getting into a relationship, no matter their gender.

And _as_ _if_ Malfoy would _ever_ reciprocate the feelings if I were indeed bent, not that I was of course. 

I was a scrawny little underfed boy, with a hollowed out, unremarkable face, whilst he was a quite frankly, beautiful, fair man, with angelic features, almost comparable to a greek god. I smiled weakly, he would love that analogy, always a sucker for flattery. 

And anyways, the small kindness he was showing me recently was simply because he felt pressured to, in order to relieve the heavy burden of being the only student to know about my sickness. 

And all of that cheer and friendliness had been stripped away as soon as I had brought up our conflict filled past. 

On top of all that, there was the fact that Draco is in all probability straight, as he  _ did _ date Pansy a couple years back. The thought made me squirm, an ugly spike of emotion rearing its head deep inside me.

“Harry??? You’re awake!” Draco’s concerned voice shook me, and I turned around panickedly to see him standing next to the bed, his eyes strained with an obvious lack of sleep and worry, the close proximity making me flush and look down at my fidgeting hands.

“Hi,” I managed meekly, a million questions running through my mind. What in Merlin’s name had happened to me? And why on earth was  _ he _ here, waiting as if I was his only care in the world.

Before either of us could utter another word, Pomfrey sauntered in with a tray of potions, still avoiding my eyes. My jaw tensed in irritation.

“Potter, before you do anything, you need to drink these potions, so be quiet and get to drinking,” Pomfrey ordered condescendingly, then stepped back and watched me expectantly, and I found myself hating her even more than I thought was possible.

I squirmed in disgust as I looked at the metal tray which had been placed in front of me, a collection of six potion vials, each a unique colour of vomit. I picked them up one by one, downing each quickly whilst pinching my nose, to mask the rotten egg-like taste. I had picked this habit up over the holidays, when I had undergone intense experimental treatment, none of which had succeeded in curing me. 

I had refused to go on after the summer ended, sick of being a labrat, when I knew there was no way to stop the effects from escalating. That much had been made very clear to me from the head doctors.

Malfoy was still standing next to the bed, his posture stiff and worried, and I wondered absently if getting into near death situations on a regular basis was all I needed to do in order for him to be my friend.

My eyelids were getting heavy fast, and as Pomfrey took the tray away, muttering a solemn “good job,”, I found myself snuggling back under the sheets, closing my eyes and almost instantly falling into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope this chapter was ok!!! as always, I would love to read and respond to any comments, ideas or feeback, and very much appreciate any kudos
> 
> also I just wanted to say how much I thank the people who consistently comment on my work, it rly helps me to feel motivated and happy about my work, so thank you!!!!! :)))))))


	19. treatment x2

The next time I opened my eyes, the harsh sunlight had been replaced with a fading light, casting long shadows across the dim hospital wing. 

I noticed optimistically that I felt a lot more refreshed than I had the last time I woke, and shivered at the knowledge that I had no concept of how much time had passed. 

Sitting up in bed, propping myself up with my arms, I noticed that Pomfrey was standing next to the bed, a grim look on her face, her foot tapping impatiently. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and watched her expectantly, my face showing my obvious confusion. 

“You’re finally up. What do you remember from Saturday?” Pomfrey’s narrowed eyes were trained vacantly on a spot behind me, her arms crossed and rigid.

I racked my brains, but to my extreme annoyance, I still could not recall what had taken place, so informed her of this.

Pomfrey sighed in annoyance.

“Whoever attacked you must have cast a very strong memory charm. You were hit with an extremely aggressive curse, designed to inflict severe pain. It is a dark art, which no one in this castle would know the name of, except the perpetrators, so don’t go around asking.”

I closed my open mouth embarrassedly, then flinched. So I wasn’t safe. 

My entire childhood I had been hunted down and attacked, but even after I had defeated Voldemort, and sent the guilty Death Eaters to Azkaban, I was still the object of violence.

When would this end?

I chuckled darkly, I knew the answer to that. When I was dead. And thanks to my illness, I wouldn’t have to wait too long for that to become a reality…

Returning to the present, I turned to Pomfrey’s irritated features, and pondered what to ask her.

“How long was I asleep for?” I let out slowly.

“You came here on Saturday, woke up once yesterday, which was monday, and it’s tuesday night now.”

Shit. My breaths began to quicken, and my muscles tensed. Treatment tonight. I wasn’t prepared for this at all. Usually I would have had the days before, in order to work myself up to it, but tonight I was being thrown right in with no warning. I shivered as I remembered last week’s treatment, my eyes becoming haunted as I struggled to pull myself out of the memory.

“I’ve been trying to wake you the entire day, but you only just woke, right on time for your treatment.” 

Pomfrey’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at something behind me. 

“Malfoy insisted you wanted him here, and refused to leave when I politely asked him.” 

She was obviously extremely displeased by this, an argument obviously having taken place, and I whipped my head around in shock, to see Draco sitting relaxedly on the bed next to mine, his legs swinging off the side. His eyebrows were raised, a challenging gleam in his eyes as he glared at Pomfrey. 

“Potter, I thought you said you wouldn’t tell anyone?” Pomfrey commented accusingly.

I spluttered indignantly on the inside, it’s not as if the git had given me the choice.

“Yeah well, I changed my mind. But I’m not telling anyone else.” I mumbled, staring at the ground awkwardly.

Pomfrey tutted, and then pulled out her wand, bracing herself. I turned around without being told this time, and sat stiffly, preparing myself for the spell. 

And then she muttered the incantation, swishing her wand, then left the room, retreating to her dorm, where she wouldn’t have to hear my inevitable screams of agony.

I shifted uncomfortably to the head of the bed, leaning against the frame as a headache began to set in.

“So what’s that spell supposed to do?” 

Draco’s curious drawl filled the silent room, and I watched in slight shock as he jumped off of his bed, then climbed onto the end of mine, crossing his legs in a rather uncharacteristic and undignified way.

Ignoring the growing ache in my head, I answered his question hesitantly, remembering back to the doctor at St Mungos’ explanation.

“It sends a stream of magic that goes through my brain and attacks anything it can find that is eating my memories.”

Draco absorbed this, a strangely grim expression passing on his face, and opened his jaw to ask another probing question no doubt, when I cut him off.

“FUCK!” I swore loudly, as the pain suddenly increased tenfold, ripping through my head uncontrollably. I curled up into my knees, clenching my nails into my palms until I felt the unique texture of hot blood.

The agony wasn’t ceasing, tearing aggressively through my brain, and I let out a raw scream as sobs began to rip through my throat, uncontrollable crying which racked my entire body ensuing.

As a brief moment of relief occurred, I wiped the tears roughly off of my face, then cringed as I noticed my blood-stained palms.

Screaming yet again as a fresh wave of torture ripped through my brain, I jerked in shock as someone yanked me into their embrace, wrapping their arms around me tightly. 

My first instinct was to pull away, but as the red hot pain attacked me once again, I found myself frantically wrapping my legs and arms around their torso, clinging to the back of their shirt for dear life, as I sobbed hysterically into their chest. 

Draco’s chest.

And then it was finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys I hope you liked this chapter!! if you did, or have any comments or ideas, I would love a comment <33333
> 
> also im so excited for the next turn of eventsss eeeeeeee


	20. night walk

We stayed there, limbs and bodies intertwined, until the dim light had almost faded into complete darkness. 

I finally shifted, and became painfully aware of the situation we were in. I was effectively straddling him, sitting in his lap, my head resting on his toned, strong chest.

Pulling my arms from around him, and receiving an eyebrow raise and greeting smirk in return, I realised how much I was enjoying sitting here. 

I stared up at his structured face, his grey eyes, framed with long dark eyelashes, drawing me into their mysterious depths. His short, light hair was tousled to the side, and I imagined running a hand through the silky locks. His sharp nose was perfectly placed in the centre of his face, and I found my eyes drawn to his chapped pink lips, unconsciously leaning in towards him. Draco’s breath hitched, and my trance was broken. 

I pulled back with slight alarm, terrified of how close I had gotten to him, and noticing with a tinge of arousal, that his eyes were dark and hungry, fixated intensely onto me. 

I shook my head confusedly. What was I doing? And why was he letting me do whatever it was?

“Um, should we uh- go to bed?” I stuttered awkwardly, a flush colouring my face.

“I’m not exactly sleepy after  _ that _ ,” Draco said softly, looking to the side, and I immediately felt awful. He was being forced to endure watching this torture, because of me. 

And why was he even here after our argument? He had also been here when I woke up for a short while on monday. But I didn’t want to think about that right now. 

Because right now, I felt content in Draco’s arms, and we were alone, away from the noise and stresses of life.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked quietly. I didn’t know exactly why I asked, all I knew was that I didn’t want this moment to end. 

And I knew it had been the right question, when Draco’s features contorted into a warm, soft smile that lit me up inside, and he nodded in agreement.

I waited expectantly for him to get up, furrowing my eyebrows as he stared at me, his smirk growing.

“You  _ will _ have to get off my lap you know? I’m sure you’re enjoying it  _ immensely _ but I simply cannot walk with you clinging to me,” Draco looked extremely pleased with himself at this humiliation of me, and as expected, I turned crimson, scrambling off of him, and dashing to the doors of the Hospital Wing, stubbornly keeping my eyes ahead as to not give him the satisfaction of seeing my embarrassment.

Sighing inside as we began to walk in the direction of the gardens, I realised his words had indeed been true, as I certainly hadn’t been looking for a way to escape the situation. Oh well, I would think about what that meant later, because all I wanted right now was to exist in this time and place.

“What if a teacher finds us?” I asked worriedly, chewing on the inside of my lip as we reached a corridor that would lead us to the gardens near the whomping willow.

“I really doubt that any teachers are up right now, and anyway, you’re  _ Harry Potter _ . Use it to your advantage for once, be a Slytherin,” Draco drawled, not bothering to keep his voice down.

I chuckled at the irony of his words.

“You know, the hat actually wanted to put me in Slytherin, but I begged it to put me in Gryffindor, so it did,”

Draco turned and gasped, almost comically, and I giggled, the light sound bringing a warmth to his face. 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU LET IT! WE COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS ALL THESE YEARS!”

Draco said as if I had personally offended him through this statement, and as if it would have been that simple.

  
  


I just beamed softly at him in response as he cast a quick lumos, making a light appear at the tip of his wand, lighting the pathway in front of us as we walked over to a cluster of trees a while away from the castle. The cool night air penetrated my thin shirt and made me shiver.

  
  


I let the night atmosphere wash over me as we walked, savouring the near silence, the only sounds our footsteps on the grass, and the slight whistle of the wind. We reached a few trees, and Draco sat at the base of one, then glanced expectantly at me, so I settled next to him, our backs resting against the thick oak. Draco’s wand brightened to softly illuminate the view, revealing a lake and sparse trees near the base of the castle. It really was a beautiful sight.

I went to pull out my wand, to cast a quick tempos, but as soon as I bent my hand I was met with a harsh pain, and I winced. Draco turned to me worriedly, brushing my shoulder with his, questioningly.

“Harry, what’s wrong?”

I held my hands out towards him, the light showing the now dried blood encrusting their surface, from where I had dug my nails in a bit too hard. 

Draco reached out his arms and took my hands one by one, holding them in his own and healing them with a couple of advanced spells I had never learnt. I watched his concentrated face in awe, loving the way one could visibly see his focus and engagement. I flexed my hands, relieved to find they felt good as new.

“Thank you so much. Where did you learn to do that?” I inquired curiously, my voice little more than a whisper, as I didn’t want to intrude on the peaceful silence of the night. 

Draco hestitated, then looked away, and answered softly.

“I was actually aiming to become a healer. Of course I have very little job options now because of…” His voice trailed off, but I knew what he meant. Who would employ a known death eater? But, as I gazed at Draco’s troubled face, I thought that in this moment, he looked anything but that.

I shivered yet again, goosebumps forming on my arms, and felt Draco wrap his arm around me, curling around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I happily obliged, grateful for his body heat. As my face was buried into his side, I inhaled, comforted by his familiar scent of vanilla.

We sat there in silence, staring out towards the lake, enjoying one another’s quiet company, and brooding over our thoughts.

Eventually, I noticed that Draco had drifted to sleep, his breathing steady, and his head leaning more and more onto my own. Cuddling into him, so his head was further supported by both myself and the tree, I sighed deeply. 

Could I just stay in this moment in time forever?

But of course, after a while the sun began to rise, and just like that, the moment was coming to a close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day!!!  
> leave me a comment to know how this went, as its a lil dif to my usual style :)))))))


	21. HARRY POTTER AND DRACO MALFOY SECRETLY DATING

As the birds began to chirp, filling the air with shrill calls, I decided with a deep sigh that it was probably time to wake Draco, as I doubted he would appreciate missing breakfast and being late to class. 

I shifted out of his heavy, warm arm, and shook his shoulders slightly, smiling slightly at his peaceful sleeping face. 

Draco slowly blinked open his eyes, taking me and the surroundings in, then smirking handsomely. 

“I’m sure you loved sleeping with me didn’t you.”

I spluttered and turned away, my face reddening at the innuendo. 

We lazidly made our way down to the castle, chatting about nonconsequential things and then went our own separate ways to our dorms. 

I quickly ducked into my empty room and changed out of my dirty clothes, then headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

My mind wandered over the events of last night. I didn’t know what had occurred between Draco and I, but I certainly hadn’t minded whatever it was. As I felt a silly smile make its way onto my face completely uninvited, my stomach dropped with dread. 

This was exactly what I hadn’t wanted to happen. I was becoming emotionally attached to someone, and, when I inevitably disappeared, Draco would be left to deal with the consequences.

My mood ruined, I trudged grudgingly into the Great Hall, slightly alarmed at the multitudes of varyingly furious, shocked and amused looks that I received. 

I froze in the entrance way, my heartbeat rapidly increasing.

Had they found out I was sick?! Had Malfoy finally told people? I felt a piece of my heart shatter at that thought, then furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I heard some fifth years yell out at me aggressively.

“YOU POOF!” “YOU’RE A DISGRACE!” They jeered, and I heard someone cheer in reply.

Suddenly, I heard Ron’s familiar bellow sounding out across the Hall as he aggressively strode towards me, positively fuming, his narrowed eyes burning holes into my skull. I flinched backwards as he shoved a copy of the Daily Prophet at me, which I fumbled for, and nervously skimmed.

_ HARRY POTTER SECRETLY DATING DEATH EATER DRACO MALFOY  _

The article summed up how we had apparently been hiding our homosexuality from the world for years, and would meet up every night to “consumate our love”.

Attached was two pictures, the first being Draco holding me in his arms as we ice skated, the second being not over six hours ago, of me nestled into Malfoy’s side as he slept.

My eyes boggled. What the actual fuck. First, how had the prophet secured these photos, as I could have sworn we were completely alone, second, why had they decided this should be public knowledge?! And third, MALFOY AND I WERE NOT EVEN DATING!!!

I was brought back to the present by Ron’s livid snarl, and I noticed Hermione had joined him, her eyes narrowed at me suspiciously and her arms crossed.

“So? You have  _ nothing _ to say for yourself when you’ve been fucking  _ Draco _ bloody  _ Malfoy  _ all these years?” Ron’s voice was incensed with pure fury, and I took a step back, then tensed and narrowed my eyes.

“It’s not fucking true. I’m not dating Draco.” I spat out the words. 

“Oh so it’s _ Draco  _ now is it? I suppose the pictures are fake then?” Ron asked disbelievingly, imposingly getting even closer to me, his face turning an unattractive shade of deep red that clashed astonishingly with his orange mop of hair. 

I faltered at this. I couldn’t exactly explain the situation to them without telling them about  _ that _ . 

Their faces darkened, the idea seemingly cementing into their minds.

“How could you?” Hermione’s betrayed voice rang out across the hall, despite being barely more than a whisper. 

My anger crumbled. What was I doing? I had decided to distance myself from them so as to not hurt them, but had ended up causing them even more pain.

“I didn’t. I promise.” I pleaded quietly, staring at the ground and becoming aware of the silence that hung over the hall, everyone’s eyes trained eagerly on us.

Suddenly, I heard a commotion over by the Slytherin table, and we swivelled around to see Ginny standing fiercely over Malfoy who was surrounded by his gaggle of friends, all of whom were wearing matching smirks, as if they found this whole situation completely hilarious. Then, Ginny whipped out her wand, pointing it directly between Draco’s eyes and making me tense in alarm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyssss sorry for the cliff hanger, im just really tired rn and didn't want to write the rest of this scene as it is quite long. hopefully this chapter isn't too bad <3333


	22. kicked out

However, before Ginny could finish furiously speaking whatever curse she had been casting, Zabini had shot up from his spot at the table next to Draco and fired a speedy stunning spell at Ginny, who froze and toppled over. 

Ron yelled out in fury, and ran over, violently pulling out his wand, and I quickly followed as Ron dashed towards Draco from behind, a curse half out his lips. 

And then I had fired a stunner and Ron’s body was lying on the ground as Mcgonagoll furiously scolded us, assigning detentions for the next three weeks, and taking 200 house points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin. 

And then Hermione was screaming something at me about being a traitor, and I was punched in the nose, sprawling backwards as pain spread throughout my face. Fuck. Wasn’t that deja-vu inducing. Hermione punching me in the face. 

And then I was overwhelmed with dizziness, Malfoy’s grey eyes swimming above my head, then dissolving into nothingness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I opened my eyes to the now extremely familiar sight of the hospital wing’s water-stain littered ceiling. 

I recalled what had happened, and let out a deep sigh. 

Now I was officially hated by probably the entire school. Despised by the Slytherins for being the figurehead of the light, and by the rest of the houses for defending a snake. 

Well, more than defending, I had actually stunned Ron. Did I regret it? I mean, he had been about to curse Draco.

I let out another long sigh, deciding I would think about this at a later time.

Sitting up in the uncomfortable hospital bed, I noticed it was pitch black outside. I must have slept the whole day. I had already been on track to fail my classes, but these continuing absences were just helping to guarantee this.

Pomfrey quickly entered the room, and, noticing I was awake, narrowed her eyes at me.

“Are you eating enough?” She inquired suspiciously.

“Um, yeah I guess.” I did not want to tell her anything about my eating habits, the grouch was involved in my life too much as it was.

“Hmm, maybe it was the stress then. Well, you can return to your room to sleep, you just had a simple fainting spell, and a broken nose which was easily fixed.” With that, Pomfrey briskly left, not a glance back in my direction.

Twitching with annoyance, I unwillingly dragged my legs up to the Gryffindor Tower, stubbornly not thinking about the morning’s events. 

Walking up to the Fat Lady, I tensed in shock. There was an array of cloaks, clothes belongings and paraphernalia thrown onto the floor of the corridor. My eyes widened and I winced grimly as I recognised them as my own. 

Turning to the portrait who was eyeing me with sympathy, I muttered what I realised must have happened.

“Did they kick me out?”

“Yes dear, I’m sorry, they’re not allowing me to let you in.” Her voice was laced with fake sympathy, the old bat probably basking in the drama.

I grimanced in response, and slowly cast a levitation spell on my stuff, making my way down to the only place I was sure people wouldn’t discover me. 

Tickling the pear on the painting, the entry to the kitchen opened, where a few house elves were tiredly cooking something bread-like. As soon as they noticed my presence, they shot up, their posture straightened as they stared up at me with wide eyes.

“Why is Master Harry not in bed? It is very late, he needs sleep!”

I fumbled, how was I gonna explain this?

“Well um, Harry doesn't have anywhere to sleep right now, so was wondering if he could sleep in here?” I asked pleadingly.

“But that is not right! Master Harry should not be forced to sleep with houselve!” One of them objected with wide and worried eyes.

“Please guys, I really need this.” Although I had slept the entire day, I felt my eyelids beginning to droop once more.

The houselves exchanged stressed glances, then seemed to concede, and got about arranging a bed in the corner of the large room, making me feel slightly guilty for their extravagant efforts. 

Once they were done, they presented to me a small, closed off space, which fit a single bed with a thick red doona and pillow.

“Thank you so much.” I breathed in relief and gratitude.

They squirmed with delight at this, and at my dismissal, left to continue their tasks, leaving me to collapse onto the bed and let my eyelids close, welcoming the comfort of sleep.

However, my sleep was plagued with intense dreams, a combination of strong arms, pale skin, a long torso, and an overwhelming smell of vanilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii how was this chapter? IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT FEW (HINT IT INVOLVES THE SLYTHERIN DORMITORY)  
> AHHHHHHh  
> as always I would love any comments :)))))  
> <33333


	23. lessons

A lean, pale body against mine. Hot skin brushing against my own. Forceful arms pushing me backwards into the bed. A gasp on my sore lips as they were captured in chapped pink ones and devoured. Grey eyes burning into me with need and want. Ready to eat me alive.

I woke up panting, and froze where I lay. What the fuck. 

Why in Merlin’s name had my mind decided to conjure up a sex dream about  _ DRACO MALFOY _ .

I flushed furiously even thinking about the humiliation I would undergo if anyone were to find out, and decided quite bluntly to pretend it had never happened. 

Anyways I thought, trying to brush it off, it was probably just my hormone filled mind fixating on the only person who had shown me any positive attention these past couple weeks. 

I got up my from the bed, changing into some of the robes that had  _ ever so kindly  _ been left in the corridor outside Gryffindor for me yesterday. The house elves eagerly served me an extravagant breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon, which I tried my best to devour, unfortunately failing miserably as my stomach protested at the food, but made sure to genuinely thank them for their kindness.

Grabbing my stuff and smiling appreciatively at the house elves, I headed out from the kitchens, on my way to double charms. 

As I shuffled through the corridors, my heart sank and my feet slowed, as hateful glares full of judgement were thrown my way, and whispers filled the air. 

I briskly entered charms, ignoring the stares, and instead hiding in a seat in the back, closing my eyes and dozing off on the hard, wooden desk, casting a quick spell to wake me up at the end of the class. 

I went the rest of the day’s lessons in this way, moving around in an exhausted trance, and trying my best to pointedly ignore any snide comments or remarks thrown my way. 

I sighed deeply as I entered potions, the last lesson of the day. Hermione and Ron both aggressively glared at something in front of them as I walked in, as if ignoring me would teach me a lesson, and I rolled my eyes and plonked down in my seat next to Draco. 

SHIT, DRACO. Mortified, I vividly remembered my dream and flushed hard, thinking of the arousal I had felt when I woke up, and turning an even darker shade of crimson. 

“Harry? Are you quite alright?” Draco questioned slightly amusedly, turning in his chair to face me, his long blonde locks falling handsomely into his dark charcoal eyes. I found myself staring into their depths, then squirmed and frantically looked around for something to comment on.

“I’m stressed about polyjuice potion!” I let out impulsively, my eyes landing on a dusty book, then cringed at the obvious confusion on Draco’s face.

With furrowed brows, he opened his mouth to enquire why, then seemed to think better of it, shook his head and instead turned to our cauldron beginning to heat it with meticulous care.

Phew. 

I relaxed slightly, and turned away. What was going on? 

It must have been the dream, planting a horrible idea into my head, where it manifested to cause this. Yes that must be it.

The tension releasing from my shoulders and the warmth leaving my cheeks, I turned and began to assist Draco with the potion, occasionally making nonconsequential small talk, and giggling at his quick-witted jokes, the pleased smile he released everytime I laughed, creating something warm and happy in my heart.

As I turned to pick up a dropped pen, my mood dropped once more, as I noticed the animosity and unconcealed anger the Gryffindors were sending my way.

I turned back to Malfoy with a grimace, ignoring his obviously questioning look, and continuing to work half-heartedly on the potion, chopping up some herbs and pouring them into the bubbling pink concoction carelessly.

I could never really have anything good for myself, without being hated for it by someone, could I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIIII I HOPE THIS CHAPTER WAS OKKKKK AHHHHH  
> also tysm for all the comments you guys left on my last chapter eeee they made me soo happy ahhh I LOVE U GUYSSS <333333333


	24. library, dinner and night with draco

As Potions finished, and we were cheerfully dismissed by Slughorn, I began to slowly collect my pens and books from my desk, stuffing them messily into my bag, then making to leave the room, when I heard Malfoy call out my name from behind me.

“Harry, do you wanna head to the library and write the charms essay we got assigned in class?” He spoke confidently, seemingly sure I would say yes.

Oh. Should I? I faltered, fighting with myself. I knew that by accepting his offer, I would be encouraging the idea of a friendship between us, which could definitely not happen for a magnitude of reasons, from the entire school loathing me even more, to the fact that I would soon not be around to be friends with, but, for some unknown reason, I could not bring myself to care at this moment in time.

“Sure.”

Malfoy grinned genuinely, to which I found myself doing the same, and we began to walk towards the library, a comfortable silence hanging in the air. 

We entered the sparsely populated library, and I went to sit at a large main table with a couple of other students, but was stopped quickly by Draco’s firm grip on my elbow, steering me confusedly away and through the rows of bookshelves, with raised eyebrows and a mischievous expression on his devilish face.

I stumbled clumsily towards the small, graffitied table he had brought us to, and stared at it for a second, my eyes widening in surprise. Why on earth had he brought us  _ here _ ?! 

This table, hidden in the corner of the library by many rows of bookcases sheltering it, was infamously known as the key spot for couples to sit and make out for hours, away from the prying eyes of their housemates and teachers.

Blushing furiously, I hesitantly took a seat across from Draco, who had settled in comfortably, lounging in his chair and mischievously smirking at my flushed face.

Pulling out my charms notes from my bag, I cringed embarrassedly as I realised I had agreed to study with him for a project I hadn’t known existed, mostly because I had effectively slept through the last months of charms.

“Do you even know what the charms assignment is?” Malfoy drawled playfully, obviously having been witness to my extraordinary talent of sleeping through every class without fail.

“Ummm.” I fidgeted and looked sheepishly up at his amused face.

Draco sighed dramatically, flourishing his arms with mock exasperation, then pulled his chair closer towards the table, and began outlining the project to me, explaining the key components and requirements in fascinating detail. 

For once, I found myself actually understanding the complicated concepts, and I nodded along gratefully, oddly mesmerised in the way his grey eyes drifted between myself and his notebook, as his smooth, low voice washed over my ears. I noticed his platinum locks were hanging loosely, and I wondered how it would feel to run my fingers through them.

After I had filled half of my assigned page of writing, Draco’s soft voice broke the silence.

“So, have you remembered who attacked you?”

I flinched. Damn, I had somehow forgotten all about that. I tried hard to remember some more of what I had forgotten, but no matter how much I concentrated, I still could not seem to retrieve any of the memory from my head.

“Nah, don’t think I’ll ever be able to.”

“Hmm.” Draco’s eyes had darkened, and he was glaring furiously down at his paper as if it had just insulted him personally.

I stared at him confusedly, but a couple of seconds later he seemed to shake off his tense mood, and spoke lightly again.

“So I assume you have been taking the necessary precautions and not wandering the castle by yourself?” 

Shit. I squirmed uncomfortably.

Draco’s eyes narrowed murderously and he fixed his glare pointedly on me.

“You do realise there is likely an attempted killer or curser walking around the school ready to attack you again?” Draco asked incredulously, as if I were a toddler, and making me curse inwardly.

“Yes...” 

“Then why aren’t you being safe?”

“Well I don’t exactly have a plethora of friends right now to protect and shield me, do I,” I muttered bitterly, looking to the side.

Draco moved back slightly at this, a regretful look coming over his face, and I tensed in annoyance. Was he  _ pitying  _ me?

“From now on, I’ll walk you everywhere,” he spoke decisively, then resumed writing, leaving me flabbergasted.

As  _ if  _ I would let Draco follow me everywhere as my protector!

Opening my mouth to object, I froze in anger as I realised Mafloy had cast a silencing charm on me, and I was unable to say a thing. I narrowed my eyes as he smirked whilst still looking at his page, obviously amused by the situation. 

Against my best efforts, after a while I too let out a small smile, and sighed, the tension draining out of my shoulders. 

I really couldn’t be bothered caring anymore. Anyways, I would just let him follow me around for the next couple of days, until he felt like his duty had been carried out, and then he would abandon me again.

We stayed there for another hour or so, occasionally exchanging light-hearted small talk, once Draco had mercifully lifted the silencing charm of course, and in that time I managed to finish my entire essay, with Draco’s help, then noticed that Malfoy had finished his charms work at least an hour ago, and was pondering over some advanced potions study. 

I let out a soft, affectionate smile, he always would go above and beyond, wouldn’t he. 

Packing up our stuff, we slowly made our way out of the now deserted library, everyone already at dinner, and walked into the corridor heading to the Great Hall.

“Um, Draco, I don’t think I’ll go to dinner.”

“You didn’t go to breakfast or lunch either,” Draco protested worriedly, and I stared at him confusedly, why had he noticed that? 

Shaking my head to clear it, I wondered whether or not I should tell him about the house elves. Hmm.

I had better tell him, it would stop him being concerned, not that I even understood why he apparently cared about my wellbeing.

Looking around to check no one was watching, I lightly grabbed Draco’s arm and yanked him down a side hallway, his grey eyes widening in surprise. 

I led him nervously down to the room with the tree portrait, where I tickled the painted pear as he watched in fascination, then led him into the kitchen, where about 10 houselves were making themselves busy by cooking a range of dishes. They perked up when they saw us, quickening their pace and staring at us excitedly with large, round eyes.

Draco gasped audibly.

“I never knew this was here!” He looked actually amazed, and I giggled softly, then for some unknown reason, leaned into the side of his chest, blushing when he quickly slipped his arm around my waist. 

“Um, hi guys, I was wondering if you could give us each a meal for dinner in here, instead of us going to the Great Hall, if it’s not too much work?” 

The elves nodded furiously, immediately springing into action, and I beamed in appreciation, slipping out of Draco’s arm and sitting down at the bench. Malfoy then followed my lead, and sat down next to me. 

I was unnaturally aware of the heat radiating from his toned leg as it brushed against mine, then stayed there, rubbing against my smaller thigh.

We were quickly served by the house elves, with a bowl of sausages, peas and mash each. Draco tucked in eagerly but elegantly, cutting the sausage into small slices, whilst I slowly swallowed a couple of spoons of mash, then pushed at the rest of the food with my fork.

“You should eat some more.” Draco spoke in a slightly order-like tone, that left no room for discussion.

I bit my lip, and in response to him, cut off a slice of the sausage then brought it to my lips, grimacing slightly as I swallowed it.

“Not a fan of sausage?” Draco cheekily drawled, a clear innuendo lacing his words, and I spluttered in response, my cheeks going crimson.

We sat there, until he had polished off his bowl, then turned and watched me expectantly as I attempted to eat.

Eventually, I seemed to have had enough to satisfy Malfoy, and he made to get up, stating that we should probably get to bed now, and that he would walk me to my dorm. Oh. He didn’t know I had been kicked out of Gryffindor tower. 

“Yeah, uh, you just go ahead, I’m just going to sit here for a bit,” I stuttered nervously. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to tell him.

“Oh ok, I’ll wait, it’s all good,” Draco spoke, obviously confused.

He sat back down, and a couple of seconds of awkward silence passed.

I sighed, I really should tell him shouldn’t I.

“I’m sleeping here.” I said quickly, then watched him nervously.

As I had predicted, he opened his mouth and protested.

“You can’t sleep in the house elves' kitchen, that’s just below us!”

I looked around nervously, scared the elves would be offended, but relaxed when I saw them nodding in agreement with Draco.

“Well, I can’t exactly go back to Gryffindor, they’ve kicked me out.” I said abruptly.

Draco’s eyebrows narrowed, and he muttered something indistinguishable in anger, then thought for a second, a devious smirk spreading across his face, putting me slightly on edge. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a solution. Pack your stuff, and let’s go.” 

I stared at him, wondering what on earth he was planning, but, too exhausted to put up a fight, I slowly followed his instructions, and soon we were walking through the mostly empty corridors, until we reached the Slytherin entry way. I cringed as I remembered the argument that had taken place last time we were here, but put it out of my mind, determined not to mess this up again.

“Draco, I can’t sleep in the Slytherin dorms, I will be cursed by the entire school.” I protested wearily.

Malfoy smirked down at me, then pulled out his wand and muttered something, which made my body warm with the familiar tingle of magic. 

“What was that?” I questioned.

“Look at yourself! You’re invisible.” Malfoy seemed extremely proud of himself, and to my shock and delight, when I looked down at my body, I was nowhere to be seen! This was way better than the bulky invisibility cloak!

“I invented this spell myself,” Draco boasted unashamedly, and I gaped up at him in amazement.

No student at Hogwarts, probably not even Hermione, would try to make their own spell, and the  _ invisibility charm _ was something people had been working towards for  _ centuries _ . Just how skilled was Malfoy?

“That’s so advanced! And it works so well!” I gushed excitedly, Draco’s chest puffing out even more at my compliments. 

He then turned to the wall with a smile, and muttered “python”, causing an entryway to promptly appear, which I hesitantly walked through after Draco, into the dark atmosphere of the Slytherin common room. 

I didn’t have much time to take it all in properly, as there were unfortunately quite a few people milling about, chatting. Draco quickly made his way past them, into a dark green carpeted corridor, me following behind him as silently as I could manage, aware of every breath I took. 

Malfoy pulled open a dark chestnut wood door, and walked in, leaving it open for a couple seconds, and I jumped to get in before he closed it. He then cast some privacy charms that would stop anyone hearing us when we talked.

“You’re here right?” He questioned uncertainly, his eyes darting around the empty space before him.

I giggled at the sight, and he sighed visibly in relief, directing another spell towards me, and I realised my body was slowly appearing again. 

Wow, he had not only made the spell, but developed a quick acting counter spell.

I yawned loudly, stretching out my arms above my head, and swaying slightly on the spot. Wow, I hadn’t realised I had gotten so tired. I rubbed my eyes. 

“Where should I sleep?” I slurred exhaustedly, surveying the room, which consisted of a fancy double bed, with wooden pole thingies and a canopy above, as well as a small fireplace, a door to a small bathroom, a desk, a cupboard and a wall-length window, which showed a dark, murky scene that I assumed was the lake. 

Wow, a private room with a bathroom, that was fancier than anything the Gryffindors had ever had. The Slytherins really did have it good. 

I yawned yet again, my body seeming to be weighed down with tiredness.

“You can just sleep on the bed,” Draco spoke warmly, gesturing towards the double bed. 

I wondered vaguely where he would sleep, but couldn’t muster the effort to ask, so fumbled to open my trunk, then took out a pair of red pyjamas decorated with golden snitches, and my toiletries. 

I walked into the bathroom, where I slowly changed, dumping my clothes on the floor, then brushed my teeth and quickly used the toilet.

Stumbling out, I made my way towards the bed, with a quick thankful smile at Draco, who was standing next to the window, with only a pair of grey sweatpants on. My eyes lingered on his toned, pale chest appreciatively, and then I was on the soft bed, cuddling under the emerald green covers. I let my eyelids droop, and then I succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYSSSS IM ACTUALLY KINDA PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER AND I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT <3333 its actually my longest so far!!!  
> I would love some feedback too :))))))


	25. morning after

Tangled limbs.

Soft cotton sheets. 

Vanilla.

Fucking vanilla.

  
  


My eyes shot open and widened impossibly.

Draco’s bare chest was not 3cm from my eyes. Furiously blinking the sleep from my eyes. I daringly glanced up towards his head, relieved to see his relaxed, sleeping features, which were framed by his messy blonde locks. He was laying on his side facing me, his strong arm slung over my smaller body, and a long, muscular leg hooked out over my own. 

His soft breathing filled my ears, the slow rise and fall of his chest oddly comforting. 

And that smell. That blasted vanilla. I doubted I would ever get sick of the distinct scent of Draco Malfoy. 

The room was still dark, the lake outside pitch black.

And then, in that moment, for some strange, unknown reason, instead of angrily jumping out of the bed and distancing myself from Malfoy as much as possible, I instead wriggled closer, nestling my head against the edge of his warm, strong chest and staying there. 

And then I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, and let sleep take over once more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I slowly allowed myself to wake up, the slight sunlight being filtered in through the lake, illuminating the dim room. 

A warm smile made its way onto my face as I took in the scene before me.

Harry’s dark waves were laying across the top of my chest, my arm drawing him in, only the side of his sleeping face visible to me. His adorable, full, cherry-coloured lips were slightly open, breathing deeply in and out. 

Small arms were clinging on tightly to my sides, even in his sleep, and his legs were entangled with my own. I savoured the warmth emitting from his body.

With my free hand, I carefully grabbed my wand from my bedside, careful not to disturb him, and cast a quick tempus.

We should probably get up, if we didn’t want to have to rush.

Unwilling to ruin the adorable image before me, I hesitantly reached out and began to smooth Harry’s hair out, running my elegant fingers through it, and marvelling at the silkiness of it, slightly surprised as a result of it’s constant messiness.

Sighing deeply, I withdrew my hand, and slowly untangled myself from Harry, stopping and then continuing my movements when he stirred slightly. 

Slowly getting up from the bed, making sure to draw the thick doona up over Harry, leaving everything but his face covered, I tiptoed my way to the bathroom, closed the door, along with a silencing spell, so as to not wake Harry, then stripped and stepped into the shower.

I turned the handle to hot, and the steaming water began to pour onto my shoulders, soaking my hair and turning my pale skin pink with heat. 

As I massaged shampoo into my locks, a smile yet again wormed its way onto my face as I thought about the boy lying on my bed, not 15 metres from me. 

Harry.

Harry with his messy brown hair.

Harry with his adorable little giggles.

Harry with his mood swings and anger.

Harry with his red cheeks and beaming smiles.

My own beam lessened as I remembered what never really left my mind. The fact that Harry was dying. That he was slowly losing his happy memories. And once he had lost those, he would continue to be devoured from the inside out until he was left with no more than his darkest days. 

And then the inevitable would occur.

And there would be nothing I could do to stop it.

I shook my head furiously, shaking slightly at the thought.

No.

I could stop it.

I  _ would _ stop it.

And I was already on the right track. I had given up on upholding the popular notion that I despised Potter and everything that he stood for, and as a result, he was now sleeping in my room, and voluntarily spending time with me. 

And through this, maybe I could give him more positive memories. If I devoted my time to making sure Harry was happy, the disease might not be able to catch up, and the worst possible outcome would be prevented. I would do all the research I could, making sure that he was getting the best possible treatment.

I wasn’t sure if it would work.

But as I stepped out of the shower into the steam filled room, and wrapped the dark green towel around my waist, I knew it was my only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guysssss I hope this chapter wasn't too bad <3333 im so tired ahahah


	26. morning rush

My eyes fluttered open to a light-filled room, and I slowly realised my surroundings. I was still in Malfoy’s room, my body tucked underneath the warm covers, and I was distinctly aware of the lack of Draco beside me. 

Turning my head slightly to the side of the room, I froze. 

Malfoy was standing with his back to me, nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair dripping water onto his shoulders, and his back muscles rippling as he bent to grab some clothes from the ground.

Tearing my eyes away as he swiftly removed the towel, I stared adamantly at the polished dark oak canopy above the bed, a furious blush and some other confusing emotion attacking me, as I realised that Draco was completely naked, not three metres from me. 

Finally, I heard the bathroom door close, and let out my breath in relief, then slowly pulled down the soft covers and sat up.

The room seemed much the same as last night, a pile of my stuff dumped in the corner haphazardly, the red theme standing out from the dark colours and green of the room.

I tensed, looking up in alarm as the door was abruptly pushed open, through which two Slytherins I recognised as Parkinson and Zanbini sauntered, then stopped as soon as they noticed me, their eyes seemingly boggling out of their heads. 

Time seemed to freeze as I sat there, staring blankly at their shocked faces.

Suddenly, Parkinson seemed to grin, walking confidently towards the bed, where she plonked herself on the end, grinning predatorily and leaning towards me. I shuffled back alarmidly, wondering what was even happening.

“Did you have sex with Draco?” she delivered bluntly, a large smirk covering her face, her eyes glinting unnervingly.

“NO!” I spluttered loudly in indignation, my cheeks burning at her question.

Her face fell, and she moved back slightly, grumpily scanning me.

Zabini’s chuckles filled the room, and I turned nervously to his unimposing figure by the door. 

He was obviously finding amusement from Parkinson’s disappointment, falling into a more detached and curious gaze when he made eye contact with me.

Then the bathroom door opened, and Draco entered, having changed into his school robes. He stopped and then sighed with obvious exasperation when he noticed the pair’s presence, giving them a glare with no real heat behind it.

Parkinson gasped in mock offense, then flourished dramatically and exaggeratedly got up from the bed and walked to the door.

“You  _ will  _ explain at breakfast,”

Zabini then followed suit, still outwardly amused by the situation, his eyebrows raised slightly and a smile on his lips, shutting the door gently behind him.

We were then left with silence, and I embarrassedly turned to Draco, who was standing by the foot of the bed, a slightly nervous expression on his face and his blonde hair still damp.

I broke the silence tentatively.

“Um, thank you. For letting me stay here last night.”

Draco smiled slightly, his eyes warming.

“Anytime. You might wanna get dressed though, we’ve gotta go to breakfast in twenty minutes.”

“Shit, ok thanks,” I cursed and quickly pushed the blankets off, stumbling to my pile of stuff, and picking out my robes and toothbrush. I then made my way to the bathroom as Malfoy watched me with a soft smirk, closing the door behind me.

After I had quickly changed, used the toilet and brushed my teeth, I entered the main room, where Draco was just finishing closing his school bag. I dumped my pyjamas onto my stuff, then picked out my bag, and stuffed the relevant textbooks in. 

Standing up, I awkwardly smiled at Malfoy.

“Ok, I’m done.” 

“Should we go to breakfast?” He said lightly, accompanied with an eyebrow quirk.

Oh shit. In my rush to get ready, I had forgotten about the Gryffindor’s resentment of me. It’s not as if I could just saunter in and sit next to Ron and Hermione. 

I voiced this problem to Draco, who just smirked even more, then grasped my wrist, pulling me out of the door despite my complaints, into the busy corridor.

I tensed in shock as the Slytherins curiously turned their heads to watch me eagerly, realising I didn’t have the invisibility spell on.

“Draco!” I hissed quietly, trying my best to hide behind him.

He turned to me questioningly, still pulling my arm through the common room, towards the door. 

“They can see me?!” I whispered forcefully.

Malfoy, to my utter outrage, ignored me and opened the door, guiding me outside, where he finally let go of my sore wrist. 

“What was  _ that _ for?! And like I said I can’t go to breakfast, the Gryffindors won’t let me!”

At this, an evil smirk broke out on Draco’s face, and he smiled devilishly down at me. 

“So you’ll sit at Slytherin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I AM SOOOO TIRED RN AND I HAVE SO MUCH WORK I HAVENT DONE FOR TOMORROW BUT INSTEAD I WROTE MORE FANFIC SO HERE YOU GO
> 
> oops


	27. breakfast with Slytherins

My jaw dropped and I stared incredulously up at Draco’s pleased expression.

As i _ f _ I could sit at the Slytherin Table.

Ron and Hermoine’s betrayed expressions, the jeers and shouts, the utter outrage that would occur.

And then, a slow smile slid onto my face. 

Maybe I didn’t care anymore. I had been pushed to the edge, why not have a little fun while I’m here.

So, a rush of adrenaline surging through me, I turned and strode into the Great Hall, an extremely pleased and cocky Draco following me in. 

As curious heads turned immediately, I faltered slightly, stopping in my tracks, wondering if this had been a severe lapse in judgement. However, before I could turn back and run to the safety of the kitchens, I felt Draco nudge my shoulder slightly in the direction of the table, and looked up, to see him flash me a brief, encouraging smile that made my tummy flutter oddly. Were those butterflies??? Huh?

My arm was pulled slightly, and I stumbled into a bench, somehow ending up sitting at the table, between Draco and Zabini and across from Parkinson, who was sitting next to another eighth year student whom I recognised vaguely as Theodore Nott. 

The man in question was surveying us quietly, with little trace of emotion to betray his thoughts. He was actually quite handsome, in the dark brooding kind of way, with a structured jaw, dark eyes, and tall body. My gaze lingered on him a bit too long, until Draco shifted me slightly forcefully closer to him, and I blushed profusely when I realised we were practically squished together. 

Turning to him questionly, I wondered what was up with Malfoy as I noticed his grey eyes burning holes into Nott’s apathetic ones.

I nervously surveyed the room, cringing as I realised the majority of the hall was watching us curiously, excited chatter and gossip filling the room. 

Tensing, I saw Ron and Hermione angrily whispering about something, Hermione pulling on Ron’s robes as he gestured madly at me, then they both rose and left the hall, storming into a corridor.

I was brought back to my surroundings by Pansy’s probing remark.

“So, Draco, care to inform us about why Potter was sleeping in your bed last night?” Pansy drawled, winking at me suggestively, and making my blush return with full force. 

“Well, Pansy, he simply realised the simple fact that Slytherin is far superior to Gryffindor, and I kindly offered my bed.”

“So you  _ really _ didn’t hook uppp?” Pansy whined, obviously knowing there was more to the story, but probably resigning to interrogate Malfoy at a later time.

“No, we didn’t,  _ so _ sorry Pans,” Draco said teasingly.

Draco turned to me, and smiled warmly, then noticed my empty plate and frowned, biting his lip worriedly. 

“You should eat something.” His steady voice left no room for bargaining.

I squirmed slightly, aware of the groups’ curious eyes on me. I really didn’t feel like stomaching food at the moment, but I knew that to refuse would cause a scene, that I did not want to endure.

Grabbing my plate, I inspected the contents in front of me, my eyebrows raising at the distinct differences to the Gryffindor table. 

Instead of the greasy bacon and sausages, the table was laid out with an assortment of fancier, and quite frankly, healthier foods, including croissants, fresh fruits, and an assortment of intricate looking dishes I had never encountered before.

Still feeling slightly queasy, I placed some strawberries and scones onto my plate, along with some jam and cream. I slowly tucked into the food, actually managing to finish a scone and a handful of strawberries, and Draco’s obvious approval made a small, sweet smile grow on my face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, this is a shorter chapter sorry, I will hopefully be updating longer chapters in a couple days, I'm just moving houses right now so its a bit hard to find time to write :)
> 
> also I just wanted to thank all of the people who have been commenting on my chapters, I love reading them so much <3333


	28. common room

Breakfast continued quite calmly, despite the still obvious whispers and stares, and I observed thankfully that the safety of the Slytherin table created a bubble of privacy and seclusion from the rest of the world. 

My realisation was made short by Zabini.

“Potter, you  _ are _ playing Quidditch this season, right?” He addressed me curiously, exchanging a competitive glance with Pansy, as Draco rolled his eyes dramatically.

I withered slightly at his comment, my stomach sinking as I remembered my decision at the start of the year. Although I had loved Quidditch for the entirety of my schooling, I had decided to not join the team this year, as at the time it had just seemed like too much effort on top of my already eventful life, what with the disease and everything. 

Besides, it’s not as if Ron would exactly roll over and let me be on the team at the moment. 

“No, I’m not,” I mumbled, cringing as a confused atmosphere fell over the table, no one really sure how to respond to my sombre delivery.

“Well, Slytherin will _ surely  _ crush Gryffindor then, you were the only thing going for them,” Draco light heartedly snarked, breaking the tension, and I thanked him silently, the brief awkwardness dissipating.

After breakfast had concluded, I headed to my first class: Defense, accompanied by Draco and Zabini, the pair making sarcastic snarks the entire time that made me laugh in shock.

The day passed in a blur, and once charms was over - the last class of the day, I wondered how I should spend my afternoon.

Usually I would retreat up to my bed in the Gryffindor tower, or lay alone in the gardens, but the first option was obviously not possible, and I sincerely doubted that the latter would please Draco, due to the fact that the person who had cursed me was still walking free. 

I glanced around the classroom as I packed my books into my bag, feeling slightly odd at the realisation that it didn’t feel out of place to suspect that someone at the school had been the attacker. 

But then again, why would I? I had spent the last seven or so years being hunted down by a mass murderer, who had infiltrated the school with killers and traitors long before I came. 

In comparison, this threat was nothing. 

However, as the room emptied out, and I was left standing alone with a lone Ravenclaw, I felt a shiver of fear running down my spine, the back of my neck crawling, and I hurried out of the room, sighing in relief when I spotted Draco waiting for me, a smirk already on his lips.

Walking quickly over to him, with a quick smile of acknowledgement, we began to head in the direction of the Slytherin dorms, and I wondered nervously if I would be staying in them tonight as well, or be gotten sick of and banished back to the house elves’ kitchen. 

My eyes widened, and I turned slightly away from Malfoy as my face burned red, as I remembered waking up to him next to me last night. 

Did he even know that I was aware he had slept in the same bed as me? Because I had been asleep when he joined me, and he was gone when I woke up before breakfast.

I recalled the soft sheets, the encompassing warmth, his long limbs wrapped around my own, and my stomach fluttered slightly, my heartbeat pounding strangely in my chest. 

Suddenly I halted in the corridor, scowling at myself. 

What was I doing? Why was I feeling this way, instead of getting angry that I had been forced to sleep in the same bed as another man, let alone a past death eater? 

It was completely wrong. I was supposed to feel this way about Ginny, or Hermione, or even Parkinson. Why was I suddenly getting all nervous and weak about  _ Malfoy _ ?

Furiously biting my lip, I resolved to roughly refuse Draco’s offer, and go back to sleeping in the house elves’ kitchen, despite the lower standards.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” 

I looked up harshly, to see Draco’s grey eyes filled with concern, his platinum locks framing his contorted face, and my resolve melted, the tension draining from my shoulders. 

I couldn’t do it right now, I just couldn’t. 

I would do it just before dinner. Yes, that would be fine.

“I’m okay, don’t worry,” I said softly but warmly, and Draco continued to eye me worriedly, but we resumed our steady pace to the dormitory.

As we finally entered the comfort of the Slytherin Common Room, I let out a deep sigh, relaxing my body, then tentatively followed Malfoy to a collection of dark green sofas sitting before a fireplace, the flame casting shadows around, and emitting a satisfying heat that drew me in tantalisingly. 

The usual group of Slytherins were lounging in front of it. Parkinson was sitting on the edge of a sofa, chattering dramatically about something concerning a hair growth spell in the magazine she was holding, to Zabini beside her, whilst Nott was sitting across from them, staring off into the distance and obviously zoned out from the conversation. 

Draco plonked down on the side of Nott’s sofa, splaying out his legs comfortably, and I awkwardly sat down in between the pair, wondering if any of the Slytherins would react angrily to my presence. 

I wouldn’t blame them if they did. If the situation was reversed, and it were a Slytherin in the Gryffindor common room, utter chaos would occur.

However, nobody seemed to actually care, or even notice that much, with Parkinson raising her eyebrow suggestively at Malfoy and I with a cheeky grin, and Zabini nodding slightly at me, to which I smiled hesitantly back. 

Theodore Nott didn’t say anything, but I could feel his lingering eyes on me. I turned my head to the side, to see him looking down at me, a sort of interested but also indistinguishable look in his eyes as he took me in.

I began to feel slightly overwhelmed at his studying gaze, as I also noticed that Draco was oddly tense beside me, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed, and I wondered what exactly was going on.    
  


Should I not be here? Had I made some fatal mistake thinking they were welcoming me? Shit.

Faltering awkwardly, I stood up, and muttered a “I might go for a walk,” making to leave, when my forearm was grabbed by Draco’s strong hand, stopping me in my tracks.

“Harry, no one has anything against you here. Right guys?” He looked expectantly at the others, and they nodded confirmingly at me. I squirmed embarrassedly, then sat back down, aware of everyone’s stares, fidgeting with my fingers. 

I flinched in shock as I felt Draco’s arm wrap around my torso, then gratefully melted into his side, staring at the ground as the Slytherins began to chatter again. 

A few minutes later, I noticed Parkinson summon a fancy-looking, marble chess board and place it on the coffee table before us. Noticing my curiosity, she beamed at me.

“Do you wanna play?”

“I’m abysmal at chess, sorry,” I admitted truthfully, to which she smiled even more.

“That’s even better, I haven’t won a game in weeks, cause _ these _ guys are all oddly good, it’s almost as if they’ve been playing their entire lives,” Parkinson lilted teasingly, mock glaring at Draco.

“Um, okay, I guess I can play a game,” I accepted.

Parkinson broke out into an devlish grin.

“Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIIII  
> this chapter was okayyyy BUT IM SO EXCITED FOR NEXT CHAPTER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHHHH  
> :))))))))))

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy!! I know this is short, but if you liked it I'll be updating regularly so be sure to leave me kudos to let me know. Hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> also feel free to follow my tumblr ebbyspaghetti and message me or send one shot requests


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